Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


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April 2019
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It's a brand new DECADE! To celebrate, we're doing something special in this episode: I'm going to walk you, step by step, through a "growth experience" that will help you create your very own Ten Year Plan so that you have clarity about where you want to be (and how to get there!) over the next ten years.

To help you get the most out of this, I've created some free resources to assist you: Text 10YPlan to 33777 OR visit to get access to my (totally free) Online 10 Year Planning Tool and / or printable pdf. 

Then, together, we'll walk through this powerful activity together. By the end you'll have new self-awareness, clarity about what you want, but, most importantly, knowledge about specifically what you need to do (and not do!) to achieve your ideal reality 10 years from now.

Let's do this! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Your partner in growth,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

It's so easy — especially for smart, determined, proactive and successful people — to spend a lot (a LOT) of time and energy pursuing goals that, at the end of the day, are not actually the most important or meaningful ones to them. Sounds crazy, but it's true: We're all vulnerable to absorbing messages from our families, social media, our culture, and certainly the combined efforts of many savvy marketers about what we should want. About who we should be. About what we should do with our lives.

You Are The Author of Your Own Life Story

At the end of the day, buying in to someone else's hopes and dreams for your life can lead you down the wrong path. Even if you — by virtue of your intelligence, determination, and hard work — are successful in creating all of it and achieving the ideals that you were handed, they will still feel hollow to you. Because they were never genuinely meaningful and important to YOU. And you will have spent so much of your precious time, energy, love, and devotion to achieving goals that — at the end of the day — could have been spent creating the life and reality that was your heart's desire.

You deserve better. You deserve to own your own goals and create a destiny that will lead to your heart overflowing with authentic happiness and gratitude. You deserve, at the very end of your precious life, to have zero regrets.You deserve to feel pride and appreciation for what you have created, and what will last long after your time on this earth has passed.

How to Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

To help you create this reality — the clear-eyed pursuit and attainment of the goals that are actually the most important and precious to YOU — I have a very special gift for you. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the honor and pleasure of interviewing a very wise and insightful man, author Chris Meyer.

Chris has a fascinating story: He spent many years as the director of a funeral home. (Stay with me here!) Over the years, he sat with many families as they planned their final goodbyes. He sat with people who were dying, and grieving families, and heard their stories — their gratitude, and their regrets, and the profound insights into what really mattered.... from the perspective of looking back on their lives.

Today, he is here to share these insights directly with YOU. He is bringing you the messages from people at the end, so that YOU can design your life with intention, clarity and love, and maintain you focus on what really matters most to you.

It's a heartfelt gift for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I sincerely hope that it helps you get clarity and self-awareness for how you'd like to design YOUR life as we enter into a new decade, together.

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Let's face it: We all have moments. Moments when we feel (justifiably!) angry or frustrated with other people, and moments when we lose our cool.

While everyone is in agreement that there is a time and place for healthy anger, sometimes the lines can get blurred around when you're setting appropriate limits.... and when you're probably being unnecessarily aggressive about making your feelings known.

How do we find that balance? The balance between not being a pushover and having a right to your feelings, but also having compassion for other people? Especially (here's the hard part) other people who may not be behaving well themselves. It's challenging for all of us. (#lifegoals!)

The easy thing to do in the face of conflict is to lash out in anger, push people away,  or freeze people out. It's much harder to stay in the ring and find a path of mutual understanding and repair.

On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I had the great pleasure of speaking with NYC-based psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg about this subject, and his insights into how to lead a more compassionate life. Dr. Borg is the author of the book, "Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World" and he shared thoughtful strategies for how to:

  • Gain the authentic self-awareness necessary to catch yourself when you're slipping into unnecessary "dickishness"
  • How to handle challenging interpersonal situations with grace and tact
  • The mindset that will help you stay compassionate with people who are not behaving well
  • Strategies to handle extremely triggering situations with your family around the holidays (without getting sucked into conflict)
  • How to use the power of empathy for yourself, and others, in order to make the world a better place

I hope this perspective and advice helps you and the people you love.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Direct download: How_to_Not_Be_a_Dick_Final.mp3
Category:Self Improvement, Relationships, Mental Health -- posted at: 4:12pm MDT

Do you have relationship questions, dating questions, breakup questions, communication questions, therapy questions, or need to know how to handle a totally awkward family situation? 

Today on the podcast we're talking about all of it: The entire show is devoted to you. Your life, your relationships, and your questions. 

Specifically, we discussed:

  • What if you're having an argument with your partner and need to take a break to calm down, but they keep pursuing you?
  • How to handle it when you're married and have a crush on someone else? What if you have a crush on an EMPLOYEE?
  • Are you dating and hearing, "I like you but just as friends" a lot? We're talking about what that might mean!
  • What are some tips to handle a hard breakup or divorce when you coparent with your Ex and have to see your Ex?
  • What should you do if your family members are fighting with each other and you keep getting dragged into it?
  • Can you do couples therapy by video if you're in a long-distance relationship? Why might that be a good idea?
  • How should you approach your partner if you think they would really benefit from individual therapy or couples counseling, but they won't go?
  • And so. Much. More.

Tune in!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Holidays: NOT The Happiest Time Of Year For Heartbreak

Divorces and breakups are difficult any time of year, but most people find that the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day adds an extra layer of angst and anxiety to the recovery process.

On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be giving you actionable advice to cope with a breakup or divorce during the holiday season. You'll learn how to take care of yourself, ways to manage your feelings, and most importantly -- how to use this time to heal, grow, and move on to a brighter future.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps. Don't forget to download your free "action plan" for how to stop obsessing about your Ex:

Feeling judged is difficult at any time, but as we lead up to the holidays, I begin to hear from many therapy and life coaching clients that feeling judged or criticized during family gatherings creates a ton of anxiety.

On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm diving deeply into this topic, in order to help you find strategies to stop feeling judged (while you're staying true to yourself and your values). 

We'll discuss:

  • Why it's so important to get clear about your values before heading into emotionally fraught situations with family and in-laws
  • How to decide where to be flexible and where to hold firm in your interactions with others
  • How to let go of your need for approval from others
  • What to prioritize in order to help yourself make decisions and be less reactive
  • The secret strategy to help yourself be okay… even when others are not
  • How to practice compassion for self and others

All this, and more, on this episode of the podcast.

All the best, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

I often share relationship advice geared towards helping you proactively solve problems, practice good communication, and tackle tough issues before they become explosive... but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes, couples just have a terrible fight where they both say mean things to each other and feel like they damaged their relationship in the process.

Has this just happened in your relationship? Have you just had a nasty fight, and now you're looking for help to get your relationship back on track?

You're in the right place: Today I'm sharing my top tips for how to calm down, get back on track, and not just repair your relationship after a fight — but USE this experience to help your relationship grow and improve. PLUS, your questions about what to do when they're frequent fighting.

All for you!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Do you have a running commentary in your head about all your mistakes, faults and shortcomings?


It's so painful. It's so exhausting. It's also so common — especially in high-achieving, successful types. (Ironically). Yes, the people who seem pretty darn close to perfect in the eyes of others are often the ones struggling the most to feel peaceful and self-accepting.

Can you relate? Do you feel like you're never doing enough? Or like you have to be perfect (but even when you are, it could still be better?

If so, the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is for you. We're going to be talking about how to stop beating yourself up, even if (and especially if) you're going through life circumstances that make you more vulnerable to beating yourself up.

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

Specifically, we're discussing:

  • Why You Beat Yourself Up
  • How to stop beating yourself up for mistakes
  • How to stop beating yourself up for past mistakes (that feel big)
  • How to stop beating yourself up over mistakes at work
  • How to stop beating yourself up after a breakup
  • How to stop beating yourself up for not being perfect

Listen to this episode to learn how to start pushing back against this "inner bully"  so that you can cultivate self-compassion, feel less insecure, feel good about yourself, and take pride in your many accomplishments so that you can own your awesome.

You are worth it! 

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: What's on YOUR mind these days? Have a question or a suggestion for an upcoming blog or podcast? I'm listening! Feel free to drop anything in the comments of this episode (here) or via this secure form.

Without understanding your subconscious self, it's very difficult to create real and lasting change in your life and in your relationships. You can try to make changes, but if your subconscious mind has other motivations.... it's going to win every time.

Today, we're discussing:


  • Why high level "solutions" will not be effective unless you understand your subconscious self
  • Why your subconscious brain can sabotage you


    How to get insight into your subconscious mind


    How to use self-awareness to gain control over your subconscious


    Ways of strengthening your intuition, creativity and inner wisdom

All that, and more, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby



BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions.

Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions.

Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times. 

Emotional Health: Finding a Balance

Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone.

It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control. 

Becoming Emotionally Healthy is a Personal Growth Process

A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses: 

  • The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs
  • Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past
  • Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers
  • Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully
  • Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values
  • Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way
  • Developing self-compassionand acceptance of feelings without judgment
  • Learning how to cope with big, dark emotions in a healthy way
  • Learning how to stay in balance emotionally, no matter what's going on

It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization. 

The Benefits of Cultivating Emotional Health

Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like:

  • "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?"
  • "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?"
  • "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"”

All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast. 

See you there!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV.


PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB



Modern dating is complex and challenging. I've had so many listener questions about dating coming in lately, that I just had to address them on a podcast! In particular, we're diving deep and talking through some of the more complicated aspects of "dating life" that many people struggle with, like:

What to do when you're terribly sad about being single?

How do you know if you're ready to date after a bad breakup or divorce?

If you're a single parent, when should you tell the kids about your new relationship?

How do you trust a new person if you've been betrayed in the past?

All that, and more, on this episode...

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


PS: Do YOU have questions? Ask away!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Like you have so much to do and you're always busy, but also like you're not actually getting things done? Or, worse, are you SO busy that things are actually starting to fall through the cracks? Eek!

This is incredibly stressful, and yet so many people are struggling with it: Especially conscientious, hardworking and responsible types.

If this is a "pain point" for you, too, I hope you join me on this episode, to learn about:

  • What types of core belief and approaches to life lead to feelings of overwhelm
  • How perfectionism and over achievement is correlated with being LESS successful
  • How stress leads to anxiety (and too much anxiety leads to paralysis)
  • The type of mindset that helps you do more (and feel happier at the same time)
  • How to recognize when you're spiraling into burnout and how to stop it
  • How to do a "hard reset" on overwhelm and start getting things done
  • How to get reconnected to your true values, goals and priorities
  • What to focus on first if you're spiraling
  • Strategies to help you identify and focus on what is truly important (and say buh-bye to the rest)
  • Surprising tips and tricks to relax your body and mind, and enter a state of focused productivity

All for YOU, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments? 


Because emotional intelligence skills really are so important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence. 

Listen, and learn:

  • Signs of low emotional intelligence
  • Consequences of low emotional intelligence
  • Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others
  • Emotional intelligence and empathy
  • Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence
  • How to improve emotional intelligence
  • How to tell if you're emotionally intelligent or not
  • Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies
  • Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence.


All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: Get access to the resources we discussed in this episode on the post for this episode here. 


Direct download: Cultivating_Emotional_Intelligence_-_92319_4.02_PM.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:48pm MDT

Do you ruminate? Think about things that happened in the past? Worry about what could happen in the future? Feel irritated with other people? Or struggle with the anxiety of comparing yourself with others? 


There is an alternative to being at the mercy of your mercurial mind. Learning how to mindfully and with intention get in control of your inner experience can help you break free from anxiety and worry, rise above stress, attain profound levels of empathy and connection with others, and feel happier and more joyful in the process.

But how? How do we rise above the churning of our minds and our egos, to enter into a state of compassion and connection? Well, my guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is Preethaji, a philosopher, mystic, the author of The Four Sacred Secrets and the co-founder of the international school of self-development, the O & O Academy based in India.

Listen to this episode as Preethaji and I discuss:

  • How to liberate yourself from a state of suffering
  • How to find clarity and purpose within
  • How to intentionally shift into a state of love, peace and calm
  • How to feel more connected to others, to the universe, and to yourself
  • How to transform your most important relationships through love and compassion

We're digging deep, discussing how to mindfully heal old wounds, release self-limiting old beliefs, and taking responsibility for the way you show up in the world. I posed a couple of YOUR questions to her too, and her perspective was refreshing.

I really enjoyed speaking with Preethaji, and I hope you get as much out of listening to this episode as I did in making it for you.

Your fellow traveler,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, ANSWERED | Lately, I've had quite a few listeners and readers get in touch with their relationship questions. I thought I'd devote an entire episode of the podcast to answering them! Specifically, I'm offering free relationship advice around these common questions on today's episode:

  • What to do when you're feeling bored in your relationship, and are concerned because you're married but have a crush on someone else.
  • What to do when you and your partner have different love languages
  • Whether to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to you
  • How to get your partner to take more initiative for household tasks
  • What to do when your partner has a substance abuse problem but won't get help
  • What to do when your boyfriend keeps putting off getting engaged
  • How to handle it when your partner is acting like a child in the relationship

Your burning relationship questions answered, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast!

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: One of the resources I mentioned to a listener's question was our "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz. Click the link if you'd like to take it too.

PSS: Do YOU have a question? You're welcome to ask it here on the comments section for this post:, or via my Instagram page: I just might answer it on an upcoming episode! :)

Direct download: Free_Relationship_Advice_-_82619_4.51_PM.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 5:07pm MDT

THE POWER OF DECLUTTERING: Do you ever feel oppressed by all the stuff you're hanging on to? Is it hard to get organized, and stay organized? Do you feel like your life is crammed full of obligations, relationships, things — even a career — that no longer fits the person you've grown into?

Intentionally getting clear about who you are NOW, and where you want to go with your life can help you cut through all the clutter and develop an environment and a lifestyle that feels satisfying and congruent with the best parts ofyou.


True, meaningful decluttering goes much deeper than just cleaning out a closet. Decluttering and maintaining a values-based, intentional lifestyle is an exercise in personal clarity and evolution. To help YOU along your journey of renewal and growth I've invited decluttering expert Olivia Heine to join me on the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

If you're looking for some decluttering inspiration, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. We're discussing:

  • How decluttering your life can lead to emotional growth and healing
  • How to get clarity about your self and your life goals, so that you know what to keep and what to let go of
  • How to use the process of decluttering as a vehicle that can actually help you process unfinished emotional business from the past
  • Why releasing physical possessions is often the first step in making positive changes in other parts of your life
  • How to deal with tricky emotions (like guilt) that make it hard to let go of things
  • How to declutter your life, your relationships, your career, and your time
  • How the practice of decluttering helps you feel more confident and empowered
  • How holding space in your life for the things that ARE important to you helps you create the life you want
  • How to maintain an organized, intentional lifestyle long-term
  • And more!

So much good stuff to share with you. Olivia and I hope this discussion helps YOU get clear about who you are, what you want.... and what it's time to release!

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: Questions? Comments? Join the conversation!

On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm talking all about how to not JUST find your purpose and highest calling, but how to start living your life with self-awareness and intention so that you can design the reality you want. Specifically, we're discussing:

  • Why your ultimate purpose in life is bigger than your career
  • How to fully embrace the amount of power you already have to design the life you want
  • How to uncover the unconscious beliefs and messages that have been leading to life circumstances you don't want
  • Targeted questions to help you get clear about what your truth is
  • The importance of deliberately living in congruence with your highest and best
  • How to develop self-awareness and mindfulness strategies that will allow you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors
  • How living intentionally and in congruence with your values leads to authentic happiness

If you have been feeling stuck lately and are struggling to find clarity and direction in life, I hope you listen to this episode.

With love and respect,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: One of the strategies I offered on this episode involves thinking about times that you experience "flow" and writing about it. You are invited to share your "flow moments" in the comments on the blog at!

The Transformational Season

Did you know that right now is possibly the best time you'll have all year to make real and lasting change in your life? That's not hyperbole. In my experience as a therapistlife coachmarriage counselor, and fellow traveler on this journey of life, I have noticed that this season -- the annual transition from summer to fall -- is often when people are feeling most intrinsically motivated, and most able to make real and lasting change in their lives.

Perhaps it's a natural itch to get back to work after the languid summer season, particularly if you've done a good job of relaxing well. Perhaps it's a lifetime of major life transitions in the form of back to school experiences. For whatever reason, now is the time when you're ready to cultivate fresh new energy in your life and plant the seeds of a new chapter. Whether it's your career, your clutter, your personal habits, or your how you spend your time that is begging for re-evaluation, the time is ripe to sweep out the old and usher in the new.

On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm going to be teaching you four crucial steps to practice as you harness the natural, transformational power of this season and use it to affect real and lasting change in your life. You'll learn how to access your self awareness, create intentional change, get deeper access to your core values, and make changes that last.

Here's to your liberation!

Lisa Marie Bobby

Many people get involved with therapy or life coachinghere at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let's face it: Friendships can present their own unique challenges.


If this is an area of growth for you, too, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. I'll be discussing:

  • Why friendships end
  • How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships
  • How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained
  • What to do about toxic friendships
  • How to cope if you've been ghosted by a friend
  • The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss
  • How to end a friendship compassionately
  • How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend

I hope these ideas help you strengthen your friendships and keep healthy people in your life!


Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, LP, BCC

Ps: Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Here's the link to join the discussion at


Direct download: Why_Friendships_End_-_72219_3.01_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Relationships -- posted at: 4:48pm MDT

The Art of Vacationing Well

It is vacation season, and you probably have some getaways planned. (I hope.) But if you are of the "rest is for mortals" mindset, you are not alone.

So today I'm bringing you ten tips that will help you make the most of your hard earned vacation time -- whether you travel to exotic lands or just stick around town. 

We'll be discussing how to:

1) Take time off without feeling guilty about it
2) Use your vacation time intentionally and mindfully
3) Prepare to step out in such a way as to minimize "re-entry stress" upon your return
4) Set boundaries with others (and yourself) so you can relax and be present
5) Learn how to make them positive benefits of your vacation experience last, even after you're back

And much, much more -- all on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Direct download: The_Art_of_Vacationing_Well_.mp3
Category:Self Help, Mindfulness, Relaxation -- posted at: 3:00am MDT

Saving a Relationship, Single-Handedly

It can feel really discouraging when you are eager to work on your relationship, and your partner is less than enthused about going to marriage counseling or relationship coaching. But know this: Every couple who gets to marriage counseling does so because one of the partners initiates it. In your relationship, that person might need to be you. And that is okay.


This episode will give you insight into what might be going on inside your partner when they say things like:  

I'm sharing some tips and ideas that can help you you ease their concerns. I hope this advice helps you help YOUR partner take the first step forward with you, and start growing back together again.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Direct download: When_Your_Wife_or_Husband_Refuses_To_Go_To_Marriage_Counseling.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 10:00am MDT

Welcoming a new baby into the world can be one of the most exciting and joyful times for a couple... and also one of the hardest. It's unfortunately very common to have marriage problems after baby. As marriage counselors and family therapists we often see that most couples spend so much time and energy preparing for the birth, and how to take care of their newborn, they neglect to think about how they'll keep their relationship strong after baby.

Because this transition to parenthood can feel so challenging for many couples, we're devoting a whole episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to supporting you through it. Marriage and family therapist and parenting coach Jessica Small will be sharing her tips for how to not just keep your relationship strong after baby, but set yourself up for success in the years to come.

Listen now to get Jessica's advice for how to:

  • Prepare your relationship for a baby
  • Have crucial conversations that will help you work through issues as they come up
  • How to support each other emotionally after having a baby
  • Practice practical strategies to make things easier for both of you
  • Keep a compassionate mindset
  • Create a happy new chapter for your marriage

We hope that this information helps you successfully transition from being a happy couple to a happy family!


Jessica Small, M.A., LMFTand Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT

Do you feel frustrated with your current job? Perhaps you generally feel good about your line of work, but want to take it to the next level. Maybe, like so many people, you're feeling a vague sense of dissatisfaction with your job: You know you want more, you know you can do more, but aren't sure which direction you should go in — much less how to make it happen.

Today, you're in for a treat. I've invited Denver career coachand leadership coach Nicholas Manning to speak with me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and share his best advice for how to move past paralysis and stagnation, and start taking control of your career in a new way.

We're talking about many things to support your professional development, including:

  • How to know it's time for a career change (and where to start)
  • How to make a values-based plan for your career
  • Why you're not getting promoted
  • The importance of emotional intelligence at work
  • Learning how to be a leader
  • Coping with a bad boss
  • And much more! 

We help this career advice helps you make positive changes, and develop a more fulfilling and rewarding career!

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD & Nicholas Manning, MBA


On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm putting on my dating coach hat to give you some free dating advice for how to date with confidence, and hopefully find your true love this summer. I'll be discussing:

  • How to date with intention, and save yourself time, energy and frustration
  • How to get interesting people interested in YOU
  • New relationship warning signs
  • What to look for in a potential partner
  • How to establish a healthy long-term relationship

If you're single and hoping to find true love this summer, you'll definitely want to listen.


Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Direct download: Finding_True_Love_Dating_Advice_-_52819_1.28_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 1:59pm MDT


These days, travel is more than just taking a trip. Where you go, who you go with, and what you do when you're in complete control of your time says a lot about you. Your personality, your interests, and even your identity becomes intertwined with what you do during your leisure time.

More importantly, traveling with intention can lead to personal growth. Having new experiences, getting a fresh perspective, and putting yourself in challenging situations can help you expand: Becoming wiser, more worldly, and more resilient. Traveling well can also provide you with benefits that linger long after you get back home.

Because traveling well is such an important aspect of personal growth, I've invited travel writer Aditi Shrikant of Vox to discuss the psychological impact of travel on people, and things to consider as you're planning your summer adventure. She shares her insight into making travel meaningful, and as well as some tips to get the most personal impact from your vacation.

Your partner in adventure!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Direct download: How_Travel_Helps_You_Grow_-_52119_1.04_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Personal Growth -- posted at: 10:00am MDT

We think of the process of changing your life as a positive thing — one that is hopeful, and infused with joy. However, here's the dirt: While the results are absolutely positive, no-one ever, ever, changes because they're just so happy with their life as it currently is. No. People actually change because they are frustrated, annoyed, hurt, embarrassed, experiencing negative consequences, or just completely worn out and exhausted from living the way they have been.

It takes a brave soul to raise their hand and say, "This is what changing my life actually was like — tell my story."

It's such a treasure when that happens though. We all learn from each other, and hearing how people just like us learned, changed, grew, and evolved, creates an inspirational path that we can then follow ourselves.

Today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast that is exactly what we are doing. My dear colleague, fellow Denver therapist and online life coach Polly Drew has an inspiring story of personal transformation to share. She talks about the change process: From her first awareness that she had a problem, to how she got the motivation to start making changes, to the support and systems she needed to put into place in order to be successful in changing her life.

We're talking all about what it takes to really change your life on this episode of the podcast.

With love,

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT& Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT

Direct download: POLLY_-Final-_MAKING_POSITIVE_CHANGES_-_42919_3.05_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:05pm MDT

In my role as a therapist, life coach and breakup recovery coach here at Growing Self, I have had the honor and privilege to walk along side many people as they make agonizing decisions about whether or not to stay in a relationship.

They often have deep ambivalence about the relationship: They love their person, and they acknowledge that the relationship has many good aspects, and yet they simply feel in their heart that it is not the right relationship for them.

So they stay. Sometimes, for years. 

If this is familiar to you (or someone you know) this podcast is for you. In this episode I'm addressing:

  • Why people get stuck in an unhappy relationship
  • What goes on inside of someone in the weeks and months leading up to a breakup
  • Why (and when) breaking up can be the most compassionate thing for all parties
  • How to break up with someone you care about (especially if they argue with you about it)
  • Underlying factors that can contribute to people having "commitment issues"
  • What relationship patterns need to be addressed, lest they follow you into your next relationship
  • What to discuss in couple' counseling if you want to give it one more shot

I hope this perspective helps!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Direct download: How_to_Break_Up_With_Someone_You_Love_-_5619_3.41_PM.mp3
Category:relationships, self help -- posted at: 4:28pm MDT

Growing Self is devoted to helping you feel happier, and get better results in your relationships and your career. Over the years of being a therapist and coach I've learned that there are a couple of specific skills that, when learned, can change everything for you; you'll feel happier, less stressed, more confident, and empowered. I teach these skills to my private therapy and coaching clients, I teach them in my online Happiness Class, and I'm here today to teach them to you, too.

These strategies work for me, they work for my clients, and they'll work for you too.

Listen now, and let's get started!

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Money. Love it, hate it, it matters. Financial concerns can impact every area of your life, including your relationships, your career and even your self-esteem. Learning how to take charge of your financial success is vital to creating the life you want.


Learning how to be better with money is not just a matter of making a budget and stopping your $5 latte habit. Genuine financial success requires self-awareness, clarity about your core values, and intention -- as well as a plan. Financial management is a vital life-skill that is learned, and once you have a tool-box of strategies to manage your money you can flourish in every way.

That's why, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Profit Boss Hilary Hendershott.Hilary is a Certified Financial Planner, financial advisor and a wealth coach. She has helped many people learn how to not just manage their finances, but create genuine abundance in their lives.

She's here with actionable advice to help you:

  • Gain self awareness about your patterns with money
  • Stop sabotaging your financial success
  • Use your core values guide your financial decisions
  • Develop an intentional relationship with your money
  • Guide your money, easily and effortlessly
  • Create long-term financial peace

Listen to our discussion and get actionable advice from Hilary about how to start changing your relationship with money for the better, starting today.


xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: Have a follow up question about financial success or any other Love, Happiness or Success topic? Cruise over to and share it in the comments!

Direct download: Financial_Success_-_42219_1.50_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Relationships, Finances -- posted at: 3:37pm MDT

Adult ADHD: A Blessing and a Curse

Wondering if you have Adult ADHD, or suspicious you do? Want to take an "Adult ADHD Test?"

Here's the first test: Does the fact that this is a podcast about ADHD rather than a written article make you feel relieved? (Because you can run / clean / drive / keep futzing around with whatever you want to instead of having to sit still for a REALLY LONG TIME (like 8 minutes) and laboriously read through an article and take a quiz?)

Ding ding!

On today's episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about how to tell the difference between garden-variety disorganization and real-deal ADHD. I'll give you an "Adult ADHD Quiz" to help you determine if you might have it, or if someone you love may struggle with it. I'll also be sharing some strategies you can use to conquer Adult ADHD, and rise to your magnificent potential. 

Check out the video and book resources I mentioned on the podcast at

Learn more about Dr. Bobby, her coaching practice, and her online "Happiness Class" at

(Music Credits: "Networking" by The Knife)

Direct download: Adult_ADHD_Test.m4a
Category:Self Help, Personal Growth -- posted at: 10:00am MDT

Generational differences in the workplace aren't something that you might always have on the top of your mind, but they can impact you more than you may realize. How you communicate, how you work with a team, your expectations about your career path, and even the way you relate to authority figures can all be connected to the point in time that your personality and professional identity were being developed.

Understanding your generational differences, particularly how they show up on-the-job, can help you not just understand yourself more deeply, but help you work more effectively with your colleagues. 

Join career and leadership coaches Teena E and Markie K on this episode to gain understanding of why you are the way you are on the job, and how you can use awareness of yourself and others to create collaborative connections with your colleagues.

All the best, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby



It's so, so hard to let go...


In the aftermath of a breakup or even divorce, many people continue on with their Ex in quasi-relationship "situationships." Living with their Ex, having sex with an Ex, being hang-out buddies with an Ex, or texting back and forth with an Ex are all common.

While this is understandable, it's also destructive. As a therapist, marriage counselor, and breakup recovery expert, I have had a ring-side seat to many, many relationships, divorces and breakup recovery situations. I've spoken to the broken hearted, as well as to their Exes and have learned a lot about why.

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing my perspective on:

  • Why people going through breakups often do self-destructive things in order to maintain their connection with their Ex
  • Why having sex with an Ex is always damaging (but only to one of you)
  • The power dynamics at work in every breakup
  • How your Ex really feels about hooking up with you
  • What post-breakup purgatory is really about… and what it does to your self esteem
  • The magical thinking that people going through breakups are vulnerable to
  • How to cut the cord and set yourself free

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: We discussed a number of resources in this episode. Here are the links to learn more:


Direct download: Sex_With_Your_Ex_-_32519_3.25_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Breakups, Divorce -- posted at: 4:20pm MDT

How do you know if you're with the right person? If your relationship is good but not perfect, is that okay? How do you know if you're settling? When do you invest in a relationship, and when should you bail?

So. Many. Questions.

This angst was captured perfectly by a recent question that someone asked on our Growing Self Facebook page:

"How do you know if you should marry the guy? I’m in my mid twenties and loads of my friends are facing this question, as am I. You’ve been with them a couple years, it’s good but not perfect ... Do you break up and look for more or is he the one?"

On this episode, we're discussing how to figure out if you're compatible, how good is good enough, what things in a relationship can change (and what can't) and the surprising shift in thinking that will help you see the potential of your relationship a different way — for better or for worse.

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Direct download: Are_You_Compatible_-_31819_3.55_PM.mp3
Category:relationships, self help -- posted at: 4:07pm MDT

Have you been daydreaming about quitting your day job and becoming self-employed? Lots of people share the fantasy of starting a business or doing their own thing, but many hit a wall when they think about how to actualize their goal of supporting themselves without a job. 


If you want to get the real-deal on what it takes to become successfully self-employed, you're in for a treat. I asked an experienced freelancer, NY-based journalist Michael Stahl, how he cut the cord and started doing what he loved for a living — and found success in following his passion.

He shares his advice for how to make the transition from employee to "free" (as well as how to deal with the ensuing anxiety) on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Listen to his inspiring story and get insight on how to generate a plan, manage the anxiety, and cultivate the grit that will sustain you as you make your own way.

 Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Direct download: Doing_Your_Own_Thing_-_22519_1.26_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Entrepreneur -- posted at: 1:46pm MDT

Love is not enough, actually. You can have an over-all great relationship with someone you love very much, and still feel like you're not really getting what you need in order to feel truly connected and cared for.

This can lead to frustrations, especially if your efforts to ask (or hint, or nag, or beg, or control, or get angry repeatedly — no judgment) never lead to real and lasting change in your relationship.

Help is here. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking to a true expert on this subject: Dr. Robert Navarra. Dr. Navarra has decades of experience as a marriage counselor, couples therapist, and addictions counselor. He trains other therapists on The Gottman Method of couples therapy— the gold standard in evidence-based couples counseling. He has also pioneered a new, evidence based method for helping couples reconnect in the aftermath of addiction.

He's here to share his insight and relationship advice with you, so that you can finally get your needs met in your relationship. Listen now, to start making positive changes today. (You might even consider listening to this episode with your partner, just in case they have some things to share too.)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Direct download: How_to_Get_Your_Needs_Met_in_a_Relationship_-_21319_2.31_PM.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:28pm MDT



Has your relationship been feeling hard lately? Arguing, bickering, sullen silences, critical comments, and rampant invalidation? If so, you're not alone. Virtually every couple has gone through rough patches like these.

Relationship problems are exhausting, but mentally and emotionally draining too. Your relationship should be a source of comfort and support, not one of stress and anxiety.

If you're normal, at a certain point, it starts to feel unsustainable to keep going as you have been, and start searching for solutions. You may even start entertaining the "final solution" of breaking up or getting divorced.

There is a path forward that can bring you two back together again. It's actually fairly simple (but not easy). Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast for advice from a marriage counselor for how YOU can get your relationship back on track.

Happy Valentine's Day!

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby



Direct download: How_to_Save_Your_Relationship_Without_Breaking_Up.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 3:48pm MDT

Although many people say, "marriage is just a piece of paper that doesn't really change a relationship," as a premarital counselor (and long married person) I often smile to myself when I hear this.

What I've found to be true is that becoming engaged to marry most definitely does change a relationship, often in positive ways. Engagement also affords thoughtful couples opportunities to build their relationship's strengths, as well as take proactive action to prevent possible relationship problems in the future.

On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with expert premarital counselor Rachel Harder about the changes that happen in a relationship once couples get engaged, plus the skills and strategies that she teaches her premarital couples to help set them up for success.

If you're recently engaged, want to be, or know someone who is, listen to our interview to hear about the most important domains of your relationship to focus on in order to build the foundation for a happy, successful and satisfying marriage.


Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT and Rachel Harder, M.A., LMFT-C



Building Better Relationships: Have you ever left relationship books laying around, or put a relationship podcast on hoping that a certain someone may reflect on their own behavior and be a better partner or friend for you? Have you ever dropped a hint (or SEVEN) to a coworker, boss, or friend about how you feel in your relationship with them, and how you hope they might change?
So often, we feel helpless around how to improve our relationships, because we feel like the quality of our relationships depends on what other people are doing or not doing.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but by focusing on your own "soft skills" you can transform your relationships single-handedly. 
Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm taking to my colleague (and relationship expert) Kathleen Carroll-Stutts about how to do that. Kathleen is a life coach, individual therapistand couples counselor here on the team at Growing Self. She is the facilitator of our Relationship Skills Group, and is here today to share her system for how to develop yourself so that you can build better relationships with the most important people in your life.
Listen to our interview to learn how to develop the communication skills and relationship skills that can help you build better relationships. Specifically:

Foundational Relationship Skills

  • Self awareness -How understanding yourself, your needs, your feelings and your personal values can help you build better relationships with others.
  • Emotional regulation -How being able to manage your feelings can help you communicate more effectively in relationships.
  • Self respect -How having healthy self-esteem and self-love helps you have stronger and more authentic relationships.
  • Assertiveness -How to develop your voice and your truth in order to communicate your needs, rights and feelings to others.

Intermediate Relationship Skills

  • How to improve your communication skillsby cultivating both self-expression skills as well as listening skills.
  • Setting boundaries -How to set appropriate and healthy limits with others.
  • How to manage conflict.

Advanced Communication Skills and Relationship Skills

  • Identifying our triggers -How to use our self-awareness, self-respect, and communication skills to avoid situations that would be bad for us and bad for our relationships.
  • Empathy -Learning how to understand the needs, rights, feelings and perspectives of others, and how to use that awareness to improve communication and build better relationships.
  • How to cope with relationship challengesincluding dealing with toxic people, how to deal with criticism, and what to do with bullies.


We sincerely hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast helps to give you some direction for building better relationships in your life!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Kathleen Carroll Stutts, M. Ed., LPC

Direct download: Building_Better_Relationships_-_11419_2.33_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:12pm MDT

Advice From a Life Coach: Here we are, just a week into the new year. If you're like many people, your track record on those resolutions may already be spotty. Or perhaps you've tossed the whole plan out the window already.

Fear not: Making changes is not about doing the thing perfectly every time. You don't just hop in a car, point the steering wheel in the general direction of the grocery store, and then expect to get there do you? Of course not. From the moment you pull out of the driveway you're turning, speeding up, slowing down, taking detours, stopping for gas — you adjust and flex the whole way there.

BUT. That's not to say that it isn't helpful to have tools and strategies to help you along the way. Just like you use your handy Google Map App to get you from A-Z, there are many useful tricks and life-hacks to make doing what you want to do easier than it would be if you just wandered out without a map.

Particularly if your goals for the new year involve creating a new keystone habit, and making it stick, there's an easy way and a hard way. Here at Growing Self, we're all about making growth and success as simple and painless as possible. So, here's a bonus episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to support you on your journey.

I'll be discussing:

  • Useful apps and practical strategies to keep you on track
  • Psychological strategies to keep you motivated.
  • The mindsets that will lead you towards success... and the ones that will send you skidding off the rails

You can do this!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


I want you to be successful at creating the change you desire in this new year. So for that reason, today's episode is all about how to find and lovingly cultivate one solid keystone habit.

This surprisingly simple technique launches a chain of successes that will carry you forward. Join me and learn how to make great things happen — the easy way!

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby


Direct download: The_Power_of_a_Keystone_Habit.mp3
Category:How to, Self Improvement, Mental Health -- posted at: 10:48am MDT