Let’s be real — sex with your ex is rarely just about sex. If you’re wrestling with the urge to reconnect physically with your ex after a breakup, or stuck in a situationship with them that feels more painful than healing, this episode is for you.

Today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m getting honest about what’s really going on when you feel the urge to have sex with ex partners. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and biological bonds that make letting go so difficult, and why continuing to have sex with your ex can quietly (but powerfully) sabotage your healing.

You’ll also hear from a listener who’s still living with his ex (and still in love), and we’ll walk through his story together to explore the emotional traps so many of us fall into after a breakup. No judgment here — just clarity, compassion, and a loving reality check.

Whether you're texting, cohabitating, or tangled up in late-night hookups, here’s the truth: the longer you stay in limbo, the more it costs you. You deserve peace, clarity, and a real path forward — and I’m here to help you find it.

Timestamps:
00:00 – The Hook: Why Sex With Your Ex Isn’t Harmless
03:04 – “We’re Broken Up… But Still Living Together”
09:58 – Attachment, Addiction, and Why You Can’t Let Go
12:46 – The Real Reason Ex Sex Keeps You Stuck
27:21 – Power Dynamics, False Hope, and Emotional Self-Betrayal
46:11 – The Way Out: Healing, Boundaries, and Next Steps
51:23 – How to Heal From Heartbreak and Move On

Navigating this emotional terrain is hard — especially when your body and brain are giving you mixed messages that make it nearly impossible to see clearly. The best place to start is with clarity — not just about your ex, but about yourself.

You can give yourself that clarity when you take my free breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? You’ll get a clear look at what stage of heartbreak you’re actually in (because it’s not always obvious), and what kind of support you need to move forward. Think of it as your compass out of confusion, and toward emotional freedom.

👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — and get your heartbreak recovery roadmap.

If your ex is still in your head (or your bed)... that's not something to be ashamed of. But it is something you can talk about — with someone who gets it, and who knows how to help. 

My team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and expert breakup recovery coaches who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. You can schedule a free consultation to talk through what’s been going on and explore how we can support you — whether you’re ready to move on or just need someone to sit with you in the uncertainty.

👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation — and take the next step toward your healing.

You deserve to feel whole again. You deserve clarity, peace, and the kind of love that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth. This moment can be the beginning of something truly powerful — the moment you choose you.

And you can start today. 💛

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com

P.S. If someone you care about is stuck in this same cycle? Be a lifeline. Share this episode with them.

How do you know if you're with the right person? If your relationship is good but not perfect, is that okay? How do you know if you're settling? When do you invest in a relationship, and when should you bail?

So. Many. Questions.

This angst was captured perfectly by a recent question that someone asked on our Growing Self Facebook page:

"How do you know if you should marry the guy? I’m in my mid twenties and loads of my friends are facing this question, as am I. You’ve been with them a couple years, it’s good but not perfect ... Do you break up and look for more or is he the one?"

On this episode, we're discussing how to figure out if you're compatible, how good is good enough, what things in a relationship can change (and what can't) and the surprising shift in thinking that will help you see the potential of your relationship a different way — for better or for worse.

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com