Are there emotional vampires lurking all around you? 

Unfortunately, this isn’t a problem you can solve with a garlic necklace or some holy water. An “emotional vampire” (or “energy vampire”) is a very unscientific term for a person who stirs up strong emotional reactions in others — like anger, pity, discomfort, or annoyance. Not only do they not take accountability for this, they seem to feed off of it. They drain your time, energy, and emotional wherewithal, and give you little in exchange. 

If a relationship is feeling bad, it could be that you’re dealing with one of these exhausting personality types. But sometimes, it’s more about the ingredients that you’re bringing to the table (or not bringing to the table). Many people need some help telling the difference, and I created this episode about “warding off emotional vampires” to make it a little easier. You’ll learn why certain people trigger you (while other people get along with them just fine), and how you can prevent emotional vampires from bleeding you dry. 

Happy Halloween, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com 

Learning how to face your fears productively can give you clarity, direction, and — ironically — peace of mind.

No one likes to feel afraid, but fear can be a powerful tool for living the life you want to live. Fear will alert you when you’re not living in alignment with your goals and your values. If you can face your fear and take wisdom from it, you can open doors that you wouldn’t otherwise have the clarity or the motivation to open. 

Today’s podcast is all about facing your fears. I’m talking about why we feel fear, how fear can illuminate what’s most important to us, and how you can take guidance from your fear to live more fully and more in alignment with your values. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Red flags in relationships aren’t always easy to spot. Even when we do pick up on them, they can be easy to dismiss. If you’re a hopeful, optimistic, generous person, you’re probably pretty good at making excuses for questionable behavior from others, and at thinking of opportunities to improve difficult situations when it would really be in your best interest to walk away. 

Furthermore, you may have a hard time spotting red flags in relationships because of your own personal history. Sometimes, our past experiences can distort our natural sense of what’s good for us and what’s not, which is a problem that working with a good therapist or a qualified life coach can help you resolve. By learning to trust your own instincts and recognize red flags, you can choose healthy relationships that add joy and love to your life. 

Tune into this episode to hear actionable advice on red flags in relationships, and how you can navigate them when they do arise. My guest is Dr. Paige M., a couples counselor and individual therapist on the team at Growing Self. Dr. Paige is sharing some insightful tips that can save you a lot of stress and heartache — you don’t want to miss this one. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com 

Over the past few decades, we’ve made some huge strides toward building equality in our relationships. It’s no longer rare for a woman to be her family’s primary breadwinner, or to see a dad perusing the produce aisle with a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest. 

Yet, for many couples who arrive in couples counseling or relationship coaching, the division of household labor is still a perennial source of conflict and resentment. Many couples still fall into traditional gender roles when it comes to who’s doing the cleaning, the cooking, and the shopping, even though it’s now the norm for both partners to work full-time. 

Furthermore, tasks or roles associated with “women’s work” are often viewed as being less valuable and important than activities associated with traditional male roles. Even relationships between career-focused women and stay-at-home dads can have issues with power imbalances and inequality because we value these types of work differently based on our attitudes about gender.

Relationships that feel imbalanced and unfair are not only bad for the partner who’s doing most of the daily household tasks. They’re bad for the relationship itself, and for both partners inside of it. Becoming truly equal partners is often the path to creating a happier, more connected, and more fulfilling relationship (and, interestingly, a better sex life), and that’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode of the podcast. 

My guest is Kate Mangino, a gender expert, speaker, and the author of “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home.” Kate is sharing wisdom from her extensive social science research, her two decades of work within the international development sector, as well her own life and relationship, to help you find more balance and create a truly equal partnership that feels fair and fulfilling. 

I hope you’ll tune in to this important conversation on equality in relationships, which not only applies to heterosexual couples, but to anyone who has some internalized gender scripts to interrogate (in other words, everyone!)

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

When you become a step-parent, you’re walking into a tricky situation. You may have the warmest feelings for your step-kids and a heartfelt desire to be a positive figure in their lives, and still find yourself thrust into the role of “wicked step-mother” (or step-father), with the pain of their parents’ broken marriage heaped onto your back… while your partner stands by helplessly.

As a longtime marriage counselor, I know blended family problems like these are common, and incredibly challenging to overcome. It’s one of the reasons I advise couples to seek blended family counseling as a preventative measure, before problems arise. I also advise taking a very thoughtful approach to blending your families, and examining your expectations for what the role of step-parent will look and feel like. 

Listen to “the dos and don’ts of step-parenting” to get real-deal advice on how to avoid the most common step parenting mistakes, and learn an approach to step-parenting that helps you release unhelpful expectations so you can create a happy, harmonious blended family.

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com