How do you have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner after the trauma of infidelity? It's possible, and in fact, going through the process of healing your relationship together can bring you closer in unexpected ways. 

But the road to recovery is not an easy one, especially when it comes to sex. Many couples struggle to heal, reconnect, and feel safe again after feeling violated by an affair. But there is a path to repair — for your relationship and your sex life — and that's what we're talking about on today's episode. 

Tune in to learn about: 

• 04:32 The Mental and Emotional Well-being of the Injured Party
• 06:00 Moving Through a Structured Healing Process
• 07:51 Stages of Sex After Infidelity
• 12:34 Managing Trauma Triggers During Sexual Encounters
• 19:16 The Desire for Detailed Sexual Information
• 29:45 Positive Growth and Conversations About Sexuality
• 34:37 Educating Yourself and Making Informed Decisions

Is low sex drive ruining your relationship? All long term couples experience sexual dry spells, whether it's due to stress, hormonal changes, emotional disconnection, or simply being too tired to get frisky at the end of a long day (pro tip: sex does not have to happen at bed time!). 

Luckily, it doesn't matter how often you're "doing it" — what matters is that you and your partner know how to navigate periods of low sex drive while keeping your relationship healthy and strong. 

It's totally possible, and this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast will show you the way! My guests are Vanessa and Xander Marin, authors of "Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations that Will Transform Your Love Life." Vanessa is a sex therapist, and along with her partner Xander, she's sharing her top tips for keeping low sex drive from ruining your relationship — and for reigniting your sexual spark.

I hope you'll join us!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

https://www.growingself.com/ 

Ps: Ready to transform your relationship? Let's talk: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

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Is it time to have “The Talk?” Getting into couples counseling may be the best choice you ever make for your relationship… but first, you have to talk to your partner about going to couples counseling, and that can be tricky. 

This podcast is about how you can approach this conversation in a way that gives you the best shot at getting your relationship the help it needs. I hope you’ll join me!

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

growingself.com

We all hear “you have to love yourself first.” But what if you don't know how to love yourself? 

This episode is all about authentic self love: What it really means, why having compassion and care for yourself matters so much, and how to love yourself even if (and especially if) you don't always feel like it.

You are worthy of love and respect, and today's podcast will help you build your relationship... with yourself.

With love and gratitude for the gift that is YOU, 

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

P.S. — For even more support in creating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, check out my “cultivating self-confidence” collection. You'll find articles and advice about confidence and self-esteem, plus podcast playlists I put together for you.

Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship.

Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you’ll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood.

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

We have all been there… witnessing our Ex move on without us. As both a therapist and breakup recovery coach who has walked with many people through the breakup recovery process, as well as a fellow human, I know that if you’re in the early stages of getting over a breakup or recovering after divorce, it can feel like a flaming knife is stabbing you in the gut when your Ex moves on with someone else. What’s worse, it can feel impossible to think about anything else. 

How are you supposed to focus on your own life and your own recovery when you can’t stop imagining your Ex cuddling up with a new partner? How can you let go and move forward when you’re stuck in a painful obsession? 

I created this episode about “How to Deal when Your Ex Moves On” to answer these questions and others. You’ll learn why you can’t stop thinking about your Ex’s new relationship, and the powerful cognitive skills that will help you shift your focus.  

I hope you’ll join me, and that you’ll find this episode helpful in your healing process. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Worried about how divorce will affect your kids? On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast, we’re talking about divorce with kids, and the best way to support your children if you're navigating the end of your marriage (or thinking about it).

I hope this episode helps you find clarity and confidence about the next best steps for you and your family.

xo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Sometimes, it all seems like a losing battle: Everywhere you look, there's a new challenge or adversity that seems too big for any one of us to fix. 

But the universe has an odd way of working on our side, even when we're not aware of it. Listen to this episode for a reminder of how much power you have to create positive things for yourself and others — even when you don't feel like you do.

You're already amazing. 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

It’s common to fantasize about reconnecting with an Ex: either rekindling the romance, or as friends. But should you? 

Couples get back together. Past partners can be wonderful friends. But sometimes longing to reconnect with an Ex just keeps you stuck in an unhealthy attachment. 

Is getting back with an Ex a good idea? Is being friends with an Ex healthy for you? When to lean in, and when to let go — listen to this episode for clarity and direction. 

For you!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Have you ever wondered why you lose it sometimes, and say things you regret later? Or why you get to a certain point where you just cannot talk anymore, and shut down? These are both examples of emotional flooding: Lashing out and withdrawing are two sides of the same coin. Both can be disastrous for your relationship.

On today’s episode we’re talking about the reality of emotional flooding, and how to manage it effectively when you’re “coming in hot.” 

Join me!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship.

Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you’ll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood.

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

It's great to work on your relationship, but sometimes people can get so over-focused on relationship problems they stop appreciating their partner’s positive qualities... to the detriment of the dynamic.

In contrast, feeling love and appreciation for your partner — as they are — is the royal road to growth and happiness for both of you. 

When do you advocate for change? When do you lean into “appreciative acceptance?” That’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode! 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

One of the worst parts of going through a breakup or divorce is feeling consumed by thoughts about your Ex. Even if you know, intellectually, that the relationship wasn't good for you, it's still so hard to stop thinking about your Ex!

On today's show, we'll be exploring why that is, and the steps you can take to free your mind, release your attachment, and get over your Ex — once and for all.

For you!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

What is your love language? What’s your partner’s? If you don’t know, you may be accidentally hurting each other’s feelings, creating disconnection, and stoking resentment without even realizing it.

Understanding love languages — and acting accordingly — can change everything in your relationship for the better. Discover both of your love languages (and practical steps for unleashing all their positive power!) in this info-packed episode. 

Love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Today: Learn how to strengthen your relationship at the deepest level using the principles of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. This evidence-based approach helps you repair your attachment bond, and actually transforms the way you both feel about each other. It's powerful stuff, and on today's episode you'll learn how to use EFT principles to stop negativity, and increase emotional connection in your relationship. 

All for you!
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Are you unknowingly making one of the 12 biggest relationship mistakes? Avoiding "relationship killing behaviors" is just as important as doing the good stuff on purpose!

So today... I'm mixing it up. I decided to put together a very straightforward, extremely honest list of what NOT to do if you want to have a great relationship. 

All for you!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

P.S. If you're worried that some of these things are happening in your relationship, take my free "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz to start a productive conversation about positive changes you can both make. — LMB

After you've lived something really painful, there will always be a need for healing in the aftermath. Therapy can really help you put yourself back together again. But it's also true that most people don't just go back to baseline. Many people actually find that, when their healing process is complete, the difficult time they weathered ultimately transformed them in really positive ways.

Learn about "post traumatic growth" on this episode of the podcast. 

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

Are you in an Unhealthy Relationship?

All couples go through a rocky period in their relationship. They may grow distant from each other and encounter problems that seem to be impossible to overcome. It is agonizing to decide whether or not to save a relationship because we never know the possibilities. How will we know when our relationship is worth saving?

I'm joined by Marriage and Family Therapist, Brittany S.. Today we are discussing healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. What to look for and how to heal.

Join us!

- Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com

"We have communication issues" is probably the number-one complaint of most couples coming in for marriage counseling or couples therapy.

Because this is so common, and so frustrating, I am re-releasing my three-part "communication problems" podcast series over the next couple of weeks.

Start here: Listen to this episode to learn about the root cause of communication issues, and the ideas that will help you overhaul your approach.

Next week we'll be talking about what to do if your partner's communication style is angry, hostile, or emotionally reactive.

And then in the following episode we'll be talking about how to communicate with a partner who shuts down.

I sincerely hope that these ideas help you both find your way back together again.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

Happy, healthy relationships are built on healthy boundaries. If you struggle to establish boundaries in relationships, understand your boundaries, or even define your boundaries to others, this episode is for you!

I am talking with Denver Therapist, and Boundary Expert, Kathleen Stutts and we are going to cover the basics of boundaries and then dive into the nitty-gritty of establishing your boundaries in relationships so that you too can feel empowered in your most important relationships!

Join Us!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

Are you in love with someone who is deeply in love with... themselves? It's exhausting to have a relationship with a selfish person. The good news is that there are different types of narcissists, and sometimes healing and growth is possible. (Maybe, for them, but definitely for YOU.)

I'm tackling all your questions about narcissists on this episode including how to tell if someone is a narcissist (and what type), how to avoid subconsciously perpetuating a narcissistic relationship dynamic, when hope is possible vs. when to cut your losses, and more. 

Join me! 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

P.S. This is a VAST subject. If you have lingering questions, leave them for me in the comments section of this post.

Divorce is nobody's first choice. But sometimes relationships cannot be saved, and divorcing feels like the right thing to do. While divorce is always hard, having an amicable divorce is the best possible outcome — particularly if you're going to be coparenting or sharing a business for years to come.

My guest on today's episode is divorce attorney Stephanie Randall. She shares her honest advice about what getting divorced is *really* like, the biggest mistakes divorcing couples make, insight into the divorce recovery process, and drops real-world strategies for how to create an amicable divorce.

If you're considering divorce (or in the thick of one) today's episode is a must listen. Be prepared to take notes! (Or get a the show-notes with Stephanie's top takeaways here: https://www.growingself.com/amicable-divorce)

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

The past year has been a uniquely stressful time for couples, but it has also been offering a slew of "micro-moments" that can make or break a relationship.

Smart couples are using these opportunities to grow stronger, closer and more connected. Other couples are missing them, and their relationships are failing as a result.

Today I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat and sharing the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship (and what to avoid at all costs) so that you can grow together instead of grow apart.

Learn how to use challenges to actually strengthen your relationship. Join me! 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid.

On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse.

But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship.

In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around.

Join me! 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

Were you the perfect child? The clown? The scapegoat? If you weren't who your family needed you to be, did other people fall apart?

Without self-awareness and intentional correction, dysfunctional family roles from your family of origin can sabotage your adult relationships. In this podcast episode I'm sharing strategies to help you learn how to overcome the legacy of a dysfunctional family, stop the cycle, and develop healthy relationships today.

Join me!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

More about Dysfunctional Family Roles on GrowingSelf.com...

Long distance relationships have unique challenges, but love from a distance can work beautifully. In today's episode I'm answering your long distance relationship questions around:

• How to keep your connection strong when you're living apart
• How to manage feelings of anxiety and insecurity in a long distance relationship
• The unique stressors (and opportunities) of long distance couples
• The most important "Us" conversations all long distance couples must have
• How to cohabitate successfully after living long distance
• And more! 

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. If you have questions about your relationship share them in the comments of the "Long Distance Relationship Questions" post so I can answer them. While you're on GrowingSelf.com, be sure check out the other articles and podcasts we have on this topic. It's all for you!

Are you in a relationship with someone who has issues they're not getting help for? It is painful to watch someone you love struggle, and it's also frustrating when you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. How do you help someone who won't help themselves? How long do you wait? When does being "supportive" slide into being "codependent?" When do you call it quits and move on? All that and more, on this episode.

Wishing you all the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Are you seeking to increase your social circle with true-blue friends who have your back? (And weed out the selfish people who take more than they give?) On today's episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, Val Walker is here to share expert advice for how to cultivate relationships with friends you can count on.

In this emotionally intimate interview, Val talks about the moment she realized she had "400 Friends & No One To Call" (the title of her latest book), and how it launched her intentional, successful creation of a supportive community of meaningful friendships. 

Val has so much fantastic advice to share with you for how to build up a community of support for yourself. I hope you listen!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Most busy professionals feel they don't have the luxury to "just hang out." Yet investing in healthy friendships is one of the single most impactful things you can do to improve your mental, emotional, and even physical health.

To support YOU in your understanding of the importance of healthy friendships, and to deepen you understanding of what it really takes to build supportive relationships in your life, I’ve invited science journalist and author Lydia Denworth to speak with me about her new book, “Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond.”  

She shares what her painstaking research has uncovered about why friendships are so important to us, the risks of neglecting your friendships, the impact of friendships on children and adolescents, and — perhaps most importantly — concrete strategies for how to build and nurture your friendships during social distancing.

Listen, and learn about the importance of healthy friendship and how to build strong friendship connections in your own life.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com