Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying?

Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you. 

 This episode is going to show you how. If you’re in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

P.S. — For more free  advice about how to develop secure relationships (with yourself and others), check out my “healthy relationships” collection.

“My husband doesn’t listen to me. He just tells me whatever he thinks I want to hear so that I’ll go away and leave him alone.”

“I’m sick of not being heard in my relationship. Whenever I try to have a conversation about a problem we’re having, she just waits until it’s her turn to talk so she can tell me I’m wrong.” 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard complaints like these from new arrivals to couples counseling. It’s no secret that “listening to each other” is a vital skill for healthy relationships, and it certainly sounds simple enough. Yet so many of us go wrong here. Something about the way we communicate, especially during important conversations with the people we love, leaves one partner feeling unheard and the other feeling confused and defensive. When you can’t get through to your partner, it can feel like there’s no path forward, leaving you both feeling stuck and dissatisfied. 

But there are some little-known principles of communication that will help you get through to your partner and overcome communication blocks in any relationship. In today’s episode, we’re sharing them with you. 

My guest is Jennifer C., a marriage and family therapist on our team at Growing Self who has helped so many couples overcome this frustrating issue. We’re discussing the reasons you don’t feel listened to in your relationship, and some tips that will help you both feel heard (spoiler: Getting progressively louder is not the solution!). 

I hope you’ll check it out. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

growingself.com

P.S. — If you’d like more content on strengthening your relationship through effective communication, check out our “communication that connects” collection of podcast episodes and articles.

What goals do you have for your relationship? If an answer immediately sprang to your mind, that’s fantastic. You already know what you’d like to work on with your partner, and doing that work together will help you create a stronger, happier, and more sustainable relationship. 

But if you’re like most people, you might not have clear “couple goals” that you’re working toward. Even if you’re someone who sets goals for your career, your finances, and even your hobbies, you may not yet think about your relationship as an area where you can build skills, develop yourself, and work toward mastery. 

That’s because even the most responsible, conscientious, and goal-oriented among us tend to be more reactive than proactive when it comes to our relationships. Much to the chagrin of every marriage counselor I know, many people believe that relationship growth work is only for couples who have significant problems. In reality, proactively working on your relationship a little bit every day is how you prevent significant problems from taking root in the first place. 

Setting couple goals is a way to challenge yourselves and each other, and intentionally grow together into the best possible partners you can be. I hope this episode of the podcast gives you some insight into the kind of proactive, positive, growth-oriented relationship work that you and your partner can begin doing right now — while you’re still happy and in love and having a fabulous time together. 

Joining me for this conversation is my Growing Self colleague Sara B., a couples counselor and a relationship coach on our team. Sara has helped many people create their ideal relationships, and on today’s podcast, she’s serving up some actionable advice you won’t want to miss. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

growingself.com

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have a special gift for both premarital couples AND couples on the brink of divorce: A special interview with Jim Sexton, author of "How to Stay in Love." Jim has a unique perspective — he has spent years working as a divorce lawyer and has sat with countless couples who are in the process of ending their marriage. Through these experiences he gained insight into the biggest mistakes couples can make,the most important things you can do to prevent a divorce, and key things that couples can do to keep their relationship healthy and strong.

I hope this episode helps you understand your marriage in a new way, and provides some direction for how to repair your bond if things have been feeling hard lately.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com