Tue, 28 May 2019
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm putting on my dating coach hat to give you some free dating advice for how to date with confidence, and hopefully find your true love this summer. I'll be discussing:
If you're single and hoping to find true love this summer, you'll definitely want to listen.
Direct download: Finding_True_Love_Dating_Advice_-_52819_1.28_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 1:59pm MDT
Mon, 13 May 2019
We think of the process of changing your life as a positive thing — one that is hopeful, and infused with joy. However, here's the dirt: While the results are absolutely positive, no-one ever, ever, changes because they're just so happy with their life as it currently is. No. People actually change because they are frustrated, annoyed, hurt, embarrassed, experiencing negative consequences, or just completely worn out and exhausted from living the way they have been.
It takes a brave soul to raise their hand and say, "This is what changing my life actually was like — tell my story."
It's such a treasure when that happens though. We all learn from each other, and hearing how people just like us learned, changed, grew, and evolved, creates an inspirational path that we can then follow ourselves.
Today, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast that is exactly what we are doing. My dear colleague, fellow Denver therapist and online life coach Polly Drew has an inspiring story of personal transformation to share. She talks about the change process: From her first awareness that she had a problem, to how she got the motivation to start making changes, to the support and systems she needed to put into place in order to be successful in changing her life.
We're talking all about what it takes to really change your life on this episode of the podcast.
Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT& Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT
Direct download: POLLY_-Final-_MAKING_POSITIVE_CHANGES_-_42919_3.05_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:05pm MDT
Mon, 14 January 2019
Building Better Relationships: Have you ever left relationship books laying around, or put a relationship podcast on hoping that a certain someone may reflect on their own behavior and be a better partner or friend for you? Have you ever dropped a hint (or SEVEN) to a coworker, boss, or friend about how you feel in your relationship with them, and how you hope they might change?
So often, we feel helpless around how to improve our relationships, because we feel like the quality of our relationships depends on what other people are doing or not doing.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but by focusing on your own "soft skills" you can transform your relationships single-handedly.
Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm taking to my colleague (and relationship expert) Kathleen Carroll-Stutts about how to do that. Kathleen is a life coach, individual therapistand couples counselor here on the team at Growing Self. She is the facilitator of our Relationship Skills Group, and is here today to share her system for how to develop yourself so that you can build better relationships with the most important people in your life.
Listen to our interview to learn how to develop the communication skills and relationship skills that can help you build better relationships. Specifically:
Foundational Relationship Skills
Intermediate Relationship Skills
Advanced Communication Skills and Relationship Skills
We sincerely hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast helps to give you some direction for building better relationships in your life!
Direct download: Building_Better_Relationships_-_11419_2.33_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:12pm MDT
Mon, 18 June 2018
Anger Management Help
"Anger issues" are a common problem for many people, and in many relationships. So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I've enlisted the support of my colleague Dr. Georgiana, to share her expertise about anger. Dr. Georgiana is, among other things, an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Life Coach too. She specializes in helping angry people learn how to get to a better place, helps couples communicate and reduce the anger and frustration in their relationships, and I'm so pleased to have her share her "anger advice" with you today too.
We'll be talking about:
I hope that listening to this podcast helps you learn how to manage anger, and find inner peace — both for yourself, and in your relationship.
All the best,
Direct download: Anger_Management_-_Managing_Anger_in_Relationships_-_61118_2.25_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 12:35pm MDT
Tue, 8 May 2018
Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really?
As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it.
Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change.
They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress.
But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it.
Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience.
You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes.
Here's to growth!
Direct download: Uncover_Your_Hidden_Obstacles_-_5818_9.14_AM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:51pm MDT
Mon, 11 December 2017
What to Do, When The Dark Season Brings Dark Emotions
In the months leading up to the holidays, and in the months after, many people struggle with "dark emotions" such as depression, grief, and sadness. There are many reasons for this, including the reality of Seasonal Affective Disorder, changes to many people's health and nutrition habits in the wintertime, and the fact that for many people the holiday season often brings with it unique stressors and emotional triggers. Many people dealing with hard life transitions like a breakup or divorce struggle during their first holiday alone. For others, bittersweet memories of years past and lost loved ones infuse the season with feelings of grief and loss.
All these experiences are normal, and natural. Many, many people are dealing with these feelings privately as they go through the motions of making merry. However, because these extremely common feelings are not often discussed publicly, many people experiencing them can feel isolated as a result.
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're breaking the silence and talking openly about this common experience, and how to move past it. We'll be discussing how to deal with dark emotions in a healthy way: when to lean into painful feelings, and how to work through them productively. We'll talk about the difference between situational depression and the symptoms of major depressive disorder, how to get a handle on seasonal affective disorder, how to work through the stages of grief, and the natural remedies for depression that can help you feel healthier and happier.
Wishing you all the best on your journey of growth and healing,
Direct download: Dealing_With_Dark_Emotions_-_121117_6.49_AM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 6:59am MDT
Mon, 3 July 2017
Do you compare your life and your accomplishments to those of other people?
In this day and age it's harder than ever to trust your own ideas, believe in yourself, and actualize a self-directed vision.
Why? There are many forces at work in our culture that make us question whether we're measuring up. Not least of these is our consumption of social media -- the never-ending digital conveyor belt of information about all the amazing things our friends and acquaintances are doing with their lives, in vivid color. Vacations, milestones, weddings, births, and promotions are artfully showcased to enviable perfection. When you're constantly confronted with semi-histrionic proclamations about the magnificence of what other people are doing, your own life can feel less-than in comparison. (Listen to "Schadenfacebook" on The Hidden Brain Podcast.)
But when you're measuring yourself by someone else's yardstick, it takes a toll. For starters, it creates anxiety and insecurity. It can also lead you to begin crafting your life to garner the approval and admiration of others. When that happens, you become disconnected from your vision, your truth, and your personal power. When the positive affirmation of other people starts to feel really important, it can lead to a downward spiral in your feelings of intrinsic self worth.
What Happens When You Lose Yourself
Becoming overly focused on how you compare to others makes you vulnerable to all sorts of problems.
For example, you might find it increasingly hard to make decisions without second guessing yourself. It can feel hard to persist in the face of adversity when you're not certain about who you are, and what you want. When you need people to treat you a certain way so that you can feel okay about yourself, your relationships can suffer. You may feel increasingly out of touch with who you are, and what makes you authentically happy.
Worst yet, being other-focused may lead you to (ironically) become less able to create the kind of successful life you want... leading to even more anxiety and dissatisfaction with your current reality, and more dependent on the opinions of others to feel okay about yourself. (Check out "Why Gen Y Millenials Are So Unhappy" on the Wait But Why blog.)
Here's a poignant note on exactly this subject that I recently received from a listener of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:
"Dear Dr. Lisa,
Recently I am trying to consciously make time to work on building cognitive skills and self awareness with the tips and lessons you share in your classes, blogs and podcasts, and also from feedback I get from [the coach I'm working with @ Growing Self.]
[Through my personal growth work] I found out that one of my unhealthy thinking habits is "comparing myself with others". I was comparing myself with my boyfriend, my friends, and this was so on "auto-pilot" most of the time, I wasn't even so aware about it.
Since I could always easily find what I was lacking when I did comparisons, it brought me many problems. I was always lacking confidence, I was always seeing proof of my shortcomings and reasons about why I shouldn't/counldn't do something, and I always struggled with anxiety and uneasiness. It was most painful when I felt inferior than others in things I value most. (Being compassionate, intelligent etc.)
Also, I realized that deep in my mind I used comparisons to feel good about myself, like comparing my achievements to others' and assuring myself that I'm doing great, which is maybe not so bad and what people naturally do, but it could make me feel guilty or empty at times.
I was in this unhealthy, unhelpful place for a very long time. I'm still working on this, but I felt very liberated after I learned that these unhelpful thinking patterns can be shifted with effort to more productive ones, and that people have different natural talents and strengths and it's okay to accept myself as who I am. It was almost a surprise to know that there is actually a way to be happier.
I would be interested if you could do a podcast or write an article about comparisons someday, if you have anything to share about this topic."
How to Stop Comparing Yourself To Others, and Start Believing in Yourself
Oh yes, dear H, I do. I have quite a lot to share on this topic, actually.
In my day-to-day role as a therapist and life coach here at Growing Self, I talk to many, many people who express the same anxiety and heartache that you expressed in your letter. You would not believe how many gorgeous, healthy, blazingly intelligent, high achieving and objectively successful people feel the same way about themselves and their lives.
No matter what they do, they harbor gnawing anxiety that it's not enough. Their accomplishments are quickly disregarded in favor of the next amazing thing they should be doing. Their feelings about themselves rise and fall based on what others think of them. And when they do experience inevitable disappointments and setbacks, they are vulnerable to depression.
So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be tackling this subject. We're going to be talking all about the insidious emotional toll comparing yourself to others can take, and how to combat it by learning how to believe in yourself instead.
We'll be talking about how to affirm yourself, trust in yourself, strengthen yourself, develop your self awareness, plug holes in your vulnerabilities, and be empowered to create a life that is genuinely meaningful and satisfying to you.
Today's journey will begin by a little rock history lesson, featuring a band called Death.
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Stop_Comparing_Yourself_to_Others..._And_Start_Trusting_Yourself_-_7317_2.23_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 2:30pm MDT
Tue, 15 November 2016
How to Cope With Disappointment
Having your dream crushed can leave you sitting in emotional rubble, feeling disempowered and confused.
Our disappointments have many faces: Causes, or candidates, you believe in get creamed. The most interesting first date you've had in a long time ghosts out. You realize that your partner is never actually going to change. The pink lines of the pregnancy test fade away, and the bleeding begins. Bad things happen to good people. People fail you.
If you get in the ring of life, sooner or later, you're going to take a gut punch.
So how do you keep going? We know that grit — the ability to get back up and continue plodding forward despite adversity — is the ultimate key to success. But It’s hard to maintain your hope and motivation when reality slams the door in your face.
If you've suffered with disappointment lately, here are three ideas that can help, plus the one thing you should definitely avoid doing.
I hope it helps you find peace, strengthen your resolve, and turn your face towards future.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Coping_With_Disappointment_-_111516_8.14_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 8:17pm MDT
Mon, 31 August 2015
Every good life coach and therapist knows that, for many of our clients, finding forgiveness can be an incredibly important and powerfully healing part of the personal transformation process. This is true for both individuals, and for relationships. Holding on to anger -- either towards yourself or someone else -- will only hold you back, and create more problems for you.
On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're going there. I'll be talking about how to release anger, find forgiveness... and set yourself free.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
(Music Credits: "The Fog," by The Amazing)
Direct download: Finding_Forgiveness.m4a
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 3:36pm MDT
Mon, 16 February 2015
Feeling happy is what it's all about. But sometimes, it can be hard to muster up good feelings. On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm sharing some simple tips that you can start using today to help you feel happier and more satisfied with your life -- as is. #Mindfulness #Gratitude #Happiness
Direct download: How_to_Create_Authentic_Happiness.band
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 5:45pm MDT
Mon, 5 May 2014
Do you hate to meditate? Does the idea of sitting on a little pillow with your eyes shut, sweeping stray thoughts out of your head over and over again, make you feel antsy?
And yet, Mindfulness - the art of being present -- is the key to a happy and healthy life.
You don't have to meditate in order to practice mindfulness.
In fact, you can be more connected with the present moment all of the time. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm teaching you how!
You'll learn easy, concrete tools to be more mindful. You'll also learn how to use the skill of mindfulness to feel more calm, happier, more productive, and have better relationships with others.
And if your busy mind is keeping you awake, be sure to download the Free Bonus Sleeping Meditations I mentioned on the show, at www.drlisabobby.com/sleep.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a Marriage Counselor, Life Coach and Psychologist. Learn more about her private practice at www.growingself.com, and follow her blog at www.drlisabobby.com.
Direct download: Mindfulness_For_People_Who_Hate_To_Meditate.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 12:43pm MDT