Let’s be real — sex with your ex is rarely just about sex. If you’re wrestling with the urge to reconnect physically with your ex after a breakup, or stuck in a situationship with them that feels more painful than healing, this episode is for you.

Today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m getting honest about what’s really going on when you feel the urge to have sex with ex partners. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and biological bonds that make letting go so difficult, and why continuing to have sex with your ex can quietly (but powerfully) sabotage your healing.

You’ll also hear from a listener who’s still living with his ex (and still in love), and we’ll walk through his story together to explore the emotional traps so many of us fall into after a breakup. No judgment here — just clarity, compassion, and a loving reality check.

Whether you're texting, cohabitating, or tangled up in late-night hookups, here’s the truth: the longer you stay in limbo, the more it costs you. You deserve peace, clarity, and a real path forward — and I’m here to help you find it.

Timestamps:
00:00 – The Hook: Why Sex With Your Ex Isn’t Harmless
03:04 – “We’re Broken Up… But Still Living Together”
09:58 – Attachment, Addiction, and Why You Can’t Let Go
12:46 – The Real Reason Ex Sex Keeps You Stuck
27:21 – Power Dynamics, False Hope, and Emotional Self-Betrayal
46:11 – The Way Out: Healing, Boundaries, and Next Steps
51:23 – How to Heal From Heartbreak and Move On

Navigating this emotional terrain is hard — especially when your body and brain are giving you mixed messages that make it nearly impossible to see clearly. The best place to start is with clarity — not just about your ex, but about yourself.

You can give yourself that clarity when you take my free breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? You’ll get a clear look at what stage of heartbreak you’re actually in (because it’s not always obvious), and what kind of support you need to move forward. Think of it as your compass out of confusion, and toward emotional freedom.

👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — and get your heartbreak recovery roadmap.

If your ex is still in your head (or your bed)... that's not something to be ashamed of. But it is something you can talk about — with someone who gets it, and who knows how to help. 

My team at Growing Self includes licensed therapists and expert breakup recovery coaches who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. You can schedule a free consultation to talk through what’s been going on and explore how we can support you — whether you’re ready to move on or just need someone to sit with you in the uncertainty.

👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation — and take the next step toward your healing.

You deserve to feel whole again. You deserve clarity, peace, and the kind of love that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth. This moment can be the beginning of something truly powerful — the moment you choose you.

And you can start today. 💛

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com

P.S. If someone you care about is stuck in this same cycle? Be a lifeline. Share this episode with them.

Going through a breakup can feel like emotional whiplash. One day you’re angry, the next you’re crying, and somehow you still miss the person who hurt you. If you've ever wondered, “How much more healing do I have to do?” — this episode is for you. In this deep dive, I’m walking you through the stages of a breakup so you can understand what’s happening inside you, where you are in your healing, and get the clarity on what you need to do to move forward.

Breakup recovery isn’t linear — it’s layered, emotional, and sometimes messy. But when you understand the stage you’re in, you can take back your power and do the exact work your heart needs. Whether you’re still obsessing over your ex, stuck in grief, or wondering why you feel fine one minute and wrecked the next, this episode will help you normalize your experience and give you a clear roadmap to healing.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Why Breakup Recovery Matters
02:35 – Who I Am and Why I Care (More Than You Know)
05:30 – My Own Breakup Story (And Why It Shaped Everything)
07:58 – The Science Behind Breakup Recovery
17:23 – The 7 Stages of Healing (and Why They're Not Linear)
19:03 – Stage 1: Craving Contact with Your Ex
23:35 – Stage 2: Deciding It's Really Over
38:02 – Stage 3: The Grief Hits (Hard)
41:08 – Stage 4: Working Through Anger, Guilt & Shame
50:04 – Stage 5: How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex
52:03 – Stage 6: Learning from the Pain (Without Blaming Yourself)
57:14 – Stage 7: Trusting Yourself to Love Again
01:05:01 – What Healing Actually Looks Like
01:09:39 – Listener Q&A: Real Breakup Stories & Support

Navigating the 9 stages of a breakup can be an incredibly emotional and disorienting journey. But one thing is clear: there is a path forward and you don’t have to walk it by yourself. Here are a few resources to take the next step toward healing.

👉 Check out my free breakup recovery quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?
It’s designed to help you understand what stage of healing you’re currently in, and more importantly, what you need to focus on to move forward. Whether you’re stuck in anger, bargaining, or detachment, this quiz offers personalized insights that can help you make sense of your emotions and gain clarity on what comes next.

If you're ready to talk to someone who truly understands what you're going through and can help you move forward, we’re here for you. Our team at Growing Self specializes in helping people heal from heartbreak—not just to feel better, but to grow into stronger, wiser, more empowered versions of themselves.

👉 Schedule a free consultation with one of the expert counselors or coaches on our team. This isn’t just about moving on—it’s about creating your new beginning. 

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com

P.S. Know someone who’s going through it right now? Share this article with a friend who could use some clarity, comfort, and hope. You never know how much a simple message can help someone feel less alone.

Breakup Advice For The Most Common Breakup Questions

The only thing worse than going through a breakup or a divorce, in my opinion, is the mental and emotional fallout that comes after. Most people dealing with a split are consumed by unanswerable questions, replaying events in their minds, and trying to make sense of what happened. They also often worry about how they'll ever get over it... and when they'll stop feeling so terrible.

Since I do so much work around breakup recovery I often have people get in touch with me with questions, and for help in dealing with a bad breakup. But I recently had a listener of my Love, Happiness and Success Podcast get in touch with me in the most unique way. She had read my book, "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to An Ex Love" but had some additional questions about how to get over some of the most common (and frankly, hardest) aspects of breakup recovery. But instead of just emailing she recorded her questions into the sweetest video, and shared it with me.

As I watched her ask her heartfelt questions it I thought of all the other people who were probably going through the exact same things. I got back in touch with her to see if it was okay to use her recording in an upcoming episode of the podcast so that my listeners (and YOU) could also benefit from hearing the answers. She was kind enough to let me share them, and today's podcast is the result.

So if you're also going through a breakup and also wondering...

• How do I let go of the guilt and regrets I have about this relationship?
• How do I repair my self esteem after being rejected?
• How do I deal with seeing my Ex's friends out?
• How do I cope with being "blindsided" by a break up?
• Will I ever feel hopeful and excited about finding a new love?

... you'll definitely want to tune into this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

I hope our conversation helps you find your way towards growth and recovery too.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com