Ever felt like you completely lost yourself in a relationship?

Like one day you woke up and thought, Wait… who even am I anymore? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and, spoiler alert, it’s not just in your head. There’s real science behind why we fuse our identities with our partners and why breakups can feel like more than just heartbreak—they can feel like an identity crisis.

In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with relationship scientist Dr. Morgan Cope to break down the psychology behind losing yourself in a relationship, why it happens, and most importantly—how to rebuild your identity after love. Whether you're freshly single, in a relationship that feels too enmeshed, or just curious about how relationships shape our sense of self, this episode is packed with insights, humor, and practical strategies to help you come back to YOU.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Is Losing Yourself in a Relationship a Real Thing?

00:35 - Meet Dr. Morgan Cope & Her Research on Relationships & Identity

01:00 Understanding Identity in Relationships

03:07 - Attachment Styles and Identity

07:30 - Impact of Breakups on Identity

24:42 - Mental and Physical Effects of Breakups

30:27 - Fear of Being Single

32:02 - Changing the Environment vs Changing Yourself

36:56 - Rebounding and Self-Expansion

39:14 - Identity and Values Assessment

44:11 - Cult Psychology and Group Identity

51:21 - Personal Growth Through Relationship Challenges

Feeling lost after a breakup? I know how hard it can be to find yourself again, so I created something to help you out on your healing journey. Check out my FREE  Breakup Recovery Quiz to get personalized insights on where you are in your healing journey & how to move forward so you can begin to feel like yourself again.

And if you’d like to keep this conversation going, I’d love to hear from you! You can find me on YouTube or Instagram. Every week, I drop a new podcast episode dedicated to your personal growth and healing so you can create love, happiness, and success in your life. I hope to see you there! 

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. Know someone who might need to hear this? Share this video with a friend who’s struggling in their relationship or going through a tough breakup. 💕

Let’s be real: you’re not just “going through a breakup” — you’re surviving a full-on emotional earthquake. Your appetite’s gone, your brain is a 24/7 rerun of “Why did they leave?”, and you may or may not be having one-way convos with your ex in the shower. (Again: no judgment.)

In this episode, I’m walking you through how to recover from a breakup in a way that’s grounded, healthy, and actually works. As a therapist, marriage counselor, and coach, I’ve supported thousands of people through this. But I’ve also been through it myself. And I want you to know this: you’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re heartbroken. And there’s a way forward that doesn’t involve self-blame, emotional spirals, or texting your ex “just to check in.”

Let’s talk about why breakups hit us so hard, the science behind love and loss, and what you can actually do to start feeling like yourself again.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Understanding Breakups and Recovery
02:11 – You’re Not the Only One
11:38 – Love Is a Drug (Literally)
25:13 – What Actually Helps You Heal
28:39 – Don’t Do This Alone
31:53 – Embracing Grief and Healing
36:38 – Heartbreak Recovery

Breakup recovery is never a straight line. This kind of pain runs deep because love runs deep. But that also means your capacity for healing—and even for joy—is just as deep.

If you’re wondering what your next step should be, you don’t have to guess. You can take the guesswork out of your healing journey with a simple, free tool we created for exactly this moment.

👉 Take the “How Over Your Ex Are You?” Breakup Quiz. In just a few minutes, you’ll get a clear picture of where you are in the healing process—and, more importantly, what to do next. Whether you're still in the raw withdrawal phase or teetering on the edge of freedom, this quiz will point you in the right direction with clarity and compassion.

And if after reading this, you’re thinking, “I just need someone to talk to—someone who gets it and knows how to help,”we’ve got you. Our team of expert breakup recovery coaches—who are also licensed therapists—specialize in helping people just like you move through the pain, confusion, and obsession... and come out stronger on the other side.

👉 Schedule a free consultation to talk with an expert on our team.

Your story isn’t over. In fact, this is the beginning of the most powerful chapter yet.

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
www.growingself.com

P.S. If someone you love is hurting right now — maybe a friend, sister, or your group chat buddy who’s just been ghosted — please forward this to them. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and this might be the exact message they need to hear today.