Mon, 3 December 2018
When you get married or commit yourself to a long-term relationship, you're signing on to support each other through thick and thin. If you're fortunate, most of the time things are okay: the sun shines and you live in the benevolence of the universe. But not always.
Unexpected job loss, a death in the family, serious illness or infertility— these are only some of the common issues that many (most? all?) couples are going to face together at some point or another. These can be particularly challenging to cope with during the holiday season.
So, today on the show, we're going there and talking about how to negotiate these hard times successfully, as a couple.
Master marriage counselor, couples therapist, and relationship coach Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT will be sharing her best relationship advice to help you both have greater empathy and compassion for each other when the chips are down. She'll be discussing communication strategies you can use to stay connected through hard times, and also some tips for how to support each other as individuals around things like illness, grief, and death, and infertility.
A master career coach is also sharing her best tips for how to cope with the stress of a layoff or job loss and stay connected with your partner as you go through it.
We hope that this discussion helps you find your way through this hard time together.
Direct download: Getting_Through_Hard_Times_Together_-_12418_1.08_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Relationships -- posted at: 10:00am MDT
Mon, 19 November 2018
Your Holidays Will Be Good When Your Boundaries Are.
In case you hadn't noticed the towering pumpkin displays in the grocery store, the catalogues and coupons clogging your mailbox, or the tinsel-spangled interiors of every store you dare step foot in... the holidays are upon us.
The holidays can be so amazing: Its the time to expand our souls, embrace generosity and good will, enjoy the warmth of our families and friends, and be grateful for the wonderful relationships in our lives. And... as you well know, holidays can also be fraught with stress, overwhelm, overspending, and tense moments with family members.
In my experience as both a marriage counselor and therapist (as well as personally) the "dark side" of the holiday experience often happens when people struggle to hold healthy boundaries.
The Usual Suspects:
Because these kinds of boundary problems are so common (and so darn avoidable, with advance planning) I thought I'd put together some holiday-specific boundary advice on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
I'm sharing some tools to help you get your boundaries "just right," and enjoy yourself this year.
I sincerely hope that it helps you avoid the pitfalls and enhance all the wonderful moments that the month ahead has to offer.
From me to you,
Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Boundaries-_The_Holiday_Edition_.m4a
Category:relationships, self help -- posted at: 10:00am MDT
Mon, 5 November 2018
For those of you so deeply affected by the latest crazy-making experience in your toxic workplace that you're almost too stunned to type... For those of you sitting at your desk, cradling your head in your hands... For those of you frantically searching co-workers’ faces for clues, wondering if you’re the only one noticing the madness... This podcast is for you.
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by expert career and executive coach. She's sharing her best career advice for how to tell if your workplace is toxic, and if so, how to survive... and ultimately move on victoriously.
Links to the resources we discussed here: https://www.growingself.com/toxic-workplace-career-advice
All the best,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Toxic_Workplace_Survival_Strategies_-_11518_12.16_PM.mp3
Category:Career Advice, Toxic Workplace, Job Stress -- posted at: 12:53pm MDT
Mon, 22 October 2018
In our hectic, demanding lives, it's easy to lose sight of ourselves: Who we are, how we feel and what we need. Even more challenging can be figuring out how to assert all-of-the-above in our relationships with others. This is particularly true if you've been existing in a toxic relationshipor codependent relationship, or navigating the aftermath of a bad breakup. In the midst of stressful circumstances, attaining empowerment can seem out of reach — especially when you've been focused outwards rather than within.
On today's show my colleague, therapist and life coach Teena Evert and I are talking about many of the "pieces" involved with cultivating personal empowerment, including:
I hope our conversation gives you insight into how to begin cultivating empowerment in your life.
With love and respect,
PS: We discussed a number of resources on the show today. Find links to them here: https://www.growingself.com/self-empowerment
Direct download: Attaining_Empowerment_-_102218_2.58_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Mindfulness, Confidence, Relationships -- posted at: 3:10pm MDT
Tue, 9 October 2018
Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You're not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the "dating" part is not that hard. You put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you're going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal.
What IS the biggest deal, and what our dating coaching clients really struggle with, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and who they've started seeing regularly. That's when all the questions come up.
Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We'll discuss:
All that, and more, on the podcast.
PS: Resources we discussed on the show: The How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz, and How to Cultivate Healthy Self-Love
PPS: Do YOU have questions for me? Dating questions, or otherwise? Leave them in the comments: I read every one! :)
Direct download: New_Relationship_Anxiety_-_10818_4.28_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Dating, Relationships, Anxiety -- posted at: 3:07pm MDT
Mon, 10 September 2018
"How long does it take to get over a breakup?"
"How do you get over a breakup when you live together"
"How to stop thinking about your Ex?"
"How to get over a bad breakup?"
As you know if you've ever listened to my podcast, I have a special place in my heart for people who are in the midst of a bad breakup, and I really want to help. (You can read my own horrible breakup story here.)
I thought that, instead of trying to answer so many specific breakup questions, it might be more helpful to everyone to learn more about the stages of a breakup. My hope is that in learning about the stages of a breakup, you can identify where you are in this process and get some direction for how to move past your breakup.
I also hope that learning about the stages of a breakup will provide you with guidance about how to move forward after a breakup, no matter what stage of breakup you're currently in. I'll be sharing tips on how to move through each stage of a breakup on today's show.
I hope that this breakup advice, and the breakup success stories I share help you find your way forward too.
Yours in healing,
Direct download: Stages_of_a_Breakup_-_How_to_Heal_a_Broken_Heart_-_91018_3.19_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Breakups, Divorce -- posted at: 3:45pm MDT
Mon, 27 August 2018
Break up or stay together? Who hasn't wondered the same, during a seriously difficult time in their relationship? Or, entertained an even bigger question: Should you try to save a relationship? How hard should you work? Especially a relationship that has been feeling really hard and unsatisfying for a long time? How do you know when it's time to call it quits?
Because deciding whether to break up or stay together is such a hard decision, we have many questions come through from clients, listeners of our podcast, and readers of our blog wanting help in deciding if their relationship can be saved, or if it's time to throw in the towel.
They want to know things like:
If you've been going through a hard time in your relationship that has led you to have doubts, I hope that this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast can help shed some light on signs that it's time to break up, or whether your relationship can be saved.
P.S. We discussed a number of resources on this show. Here's where to find the links to all of them: https://bit.ly/2Pga85B
Direct download: Break_UP_or_Stay_Together_-_82818_1.37_PM.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 10:00am MDT
Mon, 13 August 2018
How to Create The Career and Life You Want
The fall season is nearly upon us, and with it comes fresh, transformational energy. If you're like many people showing up at Growing Self for life coaching, career coaching or therapy right now, it's because this is the time of year to let go of the old, get re-aquainted with yourself, and design new goals for the next chapter of your life.
To support you in your quest for personal evolution, life coach and career coach will be sharing her advice for how to move forward fearlessly in your career, your life and your relationships.
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about:
Direct download: Designing_Your_Life_-_81318_12.35_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Career Development, Personal Growth -- posted at: 4:30pm MDT
Mon, 30 July 2018
Miscarriage or infertility can be very hard to talk about, and the lack of support for women and couples going through it can make it even harder to know where to go for help. For this reason, I've invited Growing Self marriage counselor, therapist, women's health and fertility expert Sonya J to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. We're talking about:
If you've been dealing with this extremely difficult life experience, we hope that you join us and listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC
Direct download: Pregnancy_Loss_and_Infertility-_How_to_Cope_-_73018_3.57_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Pregnancy, Infertility -- posted at: 4:27pm MDT
Mon, 16 July 2018
Any good marriage counselor or couples therapist will tell you that sex isn't the ONLY thing in a great relationship. Friendship, teamwork, communication, emotional safety, respect, and appreciation are all fundamentally important too. And yet, even when all those strengths are present, if you're not connecting sexually over a long period of time... eventually lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship.
To help us understand the most common sexual problems that couples encounter, and how to resolve them, I've invited expert sex therapist Dori Bagi to speak with us on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
We'll be discussing:
Hope this conversation helps you find your way back together again...
Direct download: Restore_Sexual_Intimacy_in_Your_Relationship.mp3
Category:Self Help, Relationships -- posted at: 2:45pm MDT
Mon, 18 June 2018
Anger Management Help
"Anger issues" are a common problem for many people, and in many relationships. So today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I've enlisted the support of my colleague Dr. Georgiana, to share her expertise about anger. Dr. Georgiana is, among other things, an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Life Coach too. She specializes in helping angry people learn how to get to a better place, helps couples communicate and reduce the anger and frustration in their relationships, and I'm so pleased to have her share her "anger advice" with you today too.
We'll be talking about:
I hope that listening to this podcast helps you learn how to manage anger, and find inner peace — both for yourself, and in your relationship.
All the best,
Direct download: Anger_Management_-_Managing_Anger_in_Relationships_-_61118_2.25_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 12:35pm MDT
Mon, 4 June 2018
Everyone has the right to growth, and to feel safe, comfortable, welcome, and understood in what should be the most healing environment of all: Therapy, life coaching or marriage counseling.
However, for African Americans, people of color, and other minority groups in the U.S., that has not always been the case. Particularly for black people, getting involved in meaningful growth work can be fraught with obstacles. The time to change that is now.
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I've invited my colleagues Anastacia Sams, Teresa Thomas, and Zachary Gaiter to talk about their perspective as black therapists and black marriage counselors. We're discussing:
We hope you join us today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
Zachary Gaiter, M.A., LPCC, Teresa Thomas, M.A., Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT
Direct download: Personal_Growth_For_Everyone_-_Black_Counselors_Speak_Out_-_6418_4.12_PM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Relationships -- posted at: 4:30pm MDT
Mon, 21 May 2018
Have you been considering a career change? Sometimes, the first, hardest step is getting clear about what it is that you want to do. But even with that clarity, there can be other obstacles that need to be worked through before you can find a career that you love. Questions like:
How — Or If — To Change Careers
Today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have the great pleasure of speaking with a master career coach, an executive coach, and a life coach. She's sharing her wisdom and experience to help you figure out if it's time to make a career change, and if so, find your ideal career and transition into a job you love.
Today, we're talking about:
No matter if you're a recent graduate looking to get clarity about what you want to do with your life, if you're in an established career that you're feeling dissatisfied and discouraged with, or if you're getting back into the workforce after taking a break, you'll definitely want to hear this great career advice.
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Finding_a_Career_You_Love_-_Career_Change_Advice__-_52118_11.24_AM.mp3
Category:Career Advice, Job Change, Career Change -- posted at: 11:40am MDT
Tue, 8 May 2018
Do you know what's standing between you and the life you want? Really?
As a life coach and therapist I regularly meet with clients who show up for counseling or coaching, certain that they know what their problem is, and what needs to be done to fix it.
Aaannnddd.... the next phase of the work in counseling or coaching is often helping people go further, and dig deeper to understand what the true source of "the problem" really is. (Hint: It is almost never what you think it is). Once that is revealed, we can then move to creating action-oriented strategies that will create meaningful and lasting change.
They go from feeling stuck, and like they're just spinning their wheels as they ineffectively chasing after what they think is the solution to the problem, to feeling like they are actually making progress.
But the first step is truly self-awareness. If you don't know what's really getting in your way, you can't possibly fix it.
Can you relate? If so, you're in luck: Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm walking you through an activity that will raise your self-awareness, and help you "get under the hood" of your inner experience.
You'll learn some new things about yourself AND get direction for how to start making changes.
Here's to growth!
Direct download: Uncover_Your_Hidden_Obstacles_-_5818_9.14_AM.mp3
Category:Self Help -- posted at: 4:51pm MDT
Mon, 23 April 2018
Your Relationship Questions, Answered.
Today, we're answering your relationship questions in order to give you real help for your relationship. Here are some of the relationship questions I'm answering today:
Ms M asks, "How do I know whether my relationship is worth saving, or if I should let this go and move on?"
Lisa asks: "Should I stay friends with my Ex?"
Mr. T asks: "I'm shutting down with my partner. How do I stop?"
Ms. K asks: "I'm afraid that my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable due to his own issues. What do I do?"
I mentioned many resources and links in this episode. Get access to all of them on the post for this show: https://wp.me/p6UUlQ-dmt
Do you have relationship advice for these questioners or personal experiences that you can relate? Perhaps you have your own relationship questions, self-improvement questions, breakup questions, or career questions for an upcoming episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast? If so, please leave them in the comments!
All the best,
Direct download: Relationship_Advice_-_Relationship_Questions_-_Relationship_Help_-_42318_2.41_PM.mp3
Category:Relationship Advice, Personal Growth, Self-Improvement -- posted at: 3:43pm MDT
Mon, 9 April 2018
How To Improve Self Esteem
How do you feel about yourself?
Are you confident in your power to make good things happen in your life?
Too many people go through periods in their lives where self-confidence feels elusive. They doubt themselves. They may feel "less than" others around them. Perhaps they don't ask for what they deserve or don't feel able to take the risks that will move them forward.
And as a result, they may settle for less in their relationships, their careers, and their lives. Self-esteem matters.
Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Self-Worth
Feeling good about yourself (not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a healthy, self-accepting way) is key to having a good life. Yet many people struggle with this, and it is something that we routinely address with our therapy and life coaching clients.
So, to help you cultivate healthy confidence in your own life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by two of my colleagues, Anastacia Sams, M.A., LMFTC and Kathleen Stutts, M.Ed., LPCC, both of whom are experts in helping people heal, grow, and restore their optimism about themselves.
We're talking about how to improve your self-esteem, how to create self-confidence, how to cultivate healthy self-worth, and most importantly, how to use the healing power of self-acceptance to (paradoxically) create real and lasting change in your life.
We hope this exploration helps YOU on your path of growth and healing, too.
Direct download: How_to_Improve_Your_Self_Esteem.mp3
Category:Self Improvement -- posted at: 10:00am MDT
Tue, 27 March 2018
Dating Coaches Get Real.
Yes, modern dating can be challenging. For as constantly-connected as we all are digitally, it can still be hard to establish a genuine connection with someone new — let alone someone who's a good match for you. Whether you've been doing online dating, or spending lots of time out and about chatting up attractive strangers you know that dating in this day and age can be daunting.
And... I also want you to know that dating, with intention, courage and strategy, also works. There are many great people out there, just like you, who are looking for love — and finding it. Modern dating can and does lead to love.
But there are questions about dating that need to be answered first. Namely, what's the difference between the type of people that modern dating seems to work for, and those for whom love is always elusive? What are the changes that you need to make in your dating approach to get better results?
So Why Am I Still Single?
To get to the bottom of this, I've asked the person who understands the realities of modern dating better than anyone: Brian Howie, to join me on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Brian is the founder, host and agent provocateur of The Great Love Debate.
All over the world, Brian has been amassing single men and women together in the same room (often with some relationship and dating experts thrown in) and then sparking passionate conversations between them all about what is either leading to (or getting in the way of) love and connection.
Through these debates, Brian has gained a unique perspective into modern dating as well as a remarkable insight into the specific things that both men and women are unintentionally doing that either sabotage their chances of creating a meaningful new relationship.... or lead them into the arms of "the one."
Listen to his expert advice, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Why_Are_You_Still_Single_-_32718_12.40_PM.mp3
Category:Relationships, Dating -- posted at: 1:09pm MDT
Mon, 12 March 2018
Do Long Distance Relationships Work?
Oh yes. In fact, long-distance relationships can have strengths over in-person relationships, and be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. However, to have a successful long-distance relationship, you need to be mindful of a few key factors in order to help you both feel loved, secure and connected although the miles keep you apart.
To talk all about how to make long distance relationships work, I've enlisted the support of long-distance relationship expert Brogan Crosby, M.S., LMFTC.
We're talking about:
Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and learn how to make your long-distance relationship thrive.
All the best,
Direct download: How_to_Make_Long_Distance_Work_-_31218_7.00_PM.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 7:08pm MDT
Mon, 26 February 2018
There are false myths about men that are unhelpful to everyone; themselves, the people who love them, and their relationships. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, our mission is to understand men and "the male experience," especially when it comes to self-development. To this end, I've enlisted the support of my fellow couples counselors, therapists and life coaches, Zachary Gaiter, and Seth Bender
Here are just some of the questions about men we're discussing:
All here for you, on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Understanding_Men.mp3
Category:Mental Health, Self Improvement, Relationships -- posted at: 4:04pm MDT
Mon, 12 February 2018
Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs, Oh My!
If you've been on the modern dating scene for any time at all, you've probably become aware that the way people connect with each other is changing. Old "rules of dating" that we could once take for granted are no longer the norm. In fact, dating advice from just a few years ago might now steer you in the wrong direction if you're looking for love.
On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm joined by Match.com's lead researcher and scientific advisor Dr. Helen Fisher, as well as Denver dating coach Markie Keelan, to talk about their latest dating advice and how you can make it work for you.
Here are just some of the dating questions we're discussing:
All for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
Direct download: New_Rules_For_Dating_-_Dr_Helen_Fisher_-_21218_5.39_PM.mp3
Category:Relationships -- posted at: 12:57pm MDT
Mon, 29 January 2018
How Do You Get Over An Affair?
I know it sounds hard to believe, but you can heal after infidelity, and stay together. You may not ever "get over" an affair, but you can certainly heal your relationship. It is also possible to rebuild the trust after infidelity.
However.... getting past infidelity is an active process, for both partners. Time alone does not heal an affair. You cannot just "get over" infidelity. After you've been betrayed, you can't just flip a switch and put the past in the past, and trust your partner again. But you can heal, and you can trust again... when you're both doing the work of recovery, together.
Real Advice For Rebuilding Trust and Security, After An Affair
On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm sharing the ten crucial steps that every couple must take in order to repair their relationship after infidelity. I hope that this discussion creates a road-map for you to follow, as you work to reclaim your relationship, your trust, and your sense of security after an affair.
With love and respect,
Direct download: Recovering_From_Infidelity.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:22pm MDT
Mon, 15 January 2018
Getting Over Heartbreak
For years now, it's been a personal passion of mine to help people recover from heartbreak. I know that when you're going through a bad breakup or divorce, it can be absolutely overwhelming emotionally. Most people describe feeling "obsessed" with matters related to their breakup: Thinking about their Ex, or plagued with incessant thoughts about what went wrong in their relationship, why the breakup happened, what it means about them, and — most importantly — when they'll ever feel better.
For many people dealing with heartbreak, the unanswered questions, or confusion about what to do in different situations, are on their minds constantly. I get many questions from people in the process of trying to get over heartbreak, and I thought I'd take the opportunity to answer some of them today on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
We'll be talking through the following breakup questions:
Listen now to get some advice for how to cope with a breakup, get your confidence and self esteem back, start feeling like yourself again. If YOU have a question for an upcoming episode of the podcast, you can leave it in the comments section of this post, or call 720-433-1110 to leave me a voicemail that I may use on an upcoming episode.
In the meantime, take care...
P.S. Did you know that I host a free, online breakup support group on Facebook? This is not a therapy group, but simply a space for you to connect with other people going through a painful breakup. Breakups can be so isolating, but you don't have to go through this alone. This group is a secret, private group, so no one can see that you're a member except other members, and your posts will only be viewable to the group. If you'd like to join, please message me via Facebook, and we'll add you to the group.
Direct download: Dealing_With_Heartbreak-_Breakup_Questions_Jan_2018_-_11518_7.08_AM.mp3
Category:Self Help, Breakups, Divorce, Relationships -- posted at: 7:56am MDT
Mon, 1 January 2018
How to Stop Self-Sabotage From Derailing Your Goals.
Do you ever feel like your own worst enemy? Or feel frustrated that, despite having the best of intentions, you can't seem to actualize your goals?
What I've learned from many years as a life coach and therapist is that when people fail it is NOT because of lack of motivation, or determination, or willpower. Most of the time it is because people are unintentionally sabotaging their own success... from day one.The worst part is that they usually have no idea that they're even doing it.
The antidote is having awareness about the subtle forces that will pull you off track every time, and the practices that will help you stay on course.
Using the six strategies I'll be teaching you about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast will help you stop unintentionally sabotaging your success, and set you up to achieve your most important goals in 2018.
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Direct download: Are_You_Sabotaging_Your_Success_-_1118_12.56_PM.mp3
Category:Sel-Help -- posted at: 1:32pm MDT