When you have an anxious attachment style, it's hard to feel secure in your most important relationships. But learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment and create a stronger relationship with yourself can be the path to emotional freedom. 

On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're discussing how you can stop relying on the people around you to regulate your anxiety, and learn to manage anxious feelings internally. This not only helps you have better relationships, it makes you stronger, happier, and more resilient. 

My guest is attachment expert Thais Gibson, a counselor, YouTuber, and founder of the Personal Development School. Thais shared some eye-opening insights in this episode that you won't want to miss! 

You'll learn: 

• 00:00 Introduction to Attachment Theory
• 08:19 Thais' Background and Interest in Attachment Theory
• 16:21 Understanding Attachment Styles
• 28:15 The Danger of Pathologizing Attachment Styles
• 33:51 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships
• 39:11 Strategies for Healing Attachment Wounds
• 41:15 Reprogramming Core Wounds
• 45:40 The Power of Auto-Suggestion

And so much more. I hope you'll tune in!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — Ready to transform your attachment patterns? Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

If you've lived through a divorce, or you're going through one now, you know that ending a marriage comes with a lot of regrets.

You might regret not trying harder to save your marriage when you had the chance, or, if the divorce was your choice, you might have difficult moments when you regret your decision. You might even regret marrying your Ex in the first place!

Whatever flavor of divorce regret you're experiencing, this episode is for you. I'm talking about how you can not only cope with regret after divorce, but how you can use it to start a positive new chapter in your life. 

You'll learn: 

• 03:04 The Purpose of Regret in Healing after a Breakup or Divorce
• 10:10 Regret's and Its Relationship to Grief
• 11:07 Shifting Your Perspective on Mistakes and Regret
• 12:21 Learning from Regret to Build Healthier Relationships
• 13:47 Differentiating Healthy Regret from Shame
• 16:43 Exploring Regret through Journaling and Therapy
• 22:19 Creating a Constructive Narrative that Helps You Grow
• 24:04 Using Regret as a Catalyst for Change

Do you have a habit of giving too much in relationships? Maybe you say "yes" when you really want to say no, or you offer much more emotional and material support than you receive in return. 

All of this sounds noble, but overgiving is a habit that will eventually wear you down (and, that will keep you from having truly satisfying relationships based on mutuality). So how can you stop being an "over-giver" and start creating healthy give and take in your relationships? That's what we're talking about on today's episode. 

I've worked with many clients over the years who were card-carrying overgivers. They were all smart, strong, competent people who excel at getting stuff done. The flip side of these strengths can be a habit of over-functioning in relationships, which leads the people around them to underfunction. The result is a situation where they HAVE to do it all, because otherwise, everything will fall apart. 

At least that's how it feels. In reality, when you stop over-giving, you open up space for the people around you to step up. Some of them may disappoint you, but often, you will be pleasantly surprised at how the people around you rise to the occassion. You can stop feeling guilty, resentful, overwhelmed, and unappreciated, and start having the nourishing relationships you deserve. 

This episode will show you the way! You'll learn:  

• Why overgiving is damaging to your relationships and your wellbeing
• What overgiving looks like
• Why you overgive in relationships
• How to stop being an overgiver 
• Tips for setting healthy boundaries 
• Creating balance through the power of vulnerability and authenticity. 

All of that and more for you on today's show. I hope you'll join me! 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you want to break this habit once and for all, we should talk. Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Has the sexual intimacy in your relationship dwindled to almost nothing? Or, do you long to feel desired by your partner, but instead feel like you're being rejected? If so, this episode is for you. You'll learn why sexless marriages (or sexless relationships of any kind) happen, and how to reignite the spark with your partner and cultivate the physical and emotional intimacy you crave. 

When couples stop having sex, it can be a sign that their relationships are suffering in other ways as well. They may be feeling lonely and emotionally disconnected from each other. Often, there's resentment or an old emotional wound that hasn't been healed. Sexuality can be the canary in the coal mine that lets you know your relationship is in trouble.  

It takes courage to explore the root causes of a "dead bedroom." But doing so is the path to rekindling the passion you want and deserve. 

On today's episode, I'm answering a question from a listener who's feeling adrift in his sexless marriage, and offering some universal advice that will help every couple communicate better about sex, understand each other more deeply, and keep the spark alive for the long haul. 

Tune in to learn: 

Lisa here with exciting news! I've launched a new podcast, Love, Happiness, and Success for Therapists, designed specifically for therapists seeking support and community. If you're a therapist, I hope you join me! (And if you know a therapist, I hope you pass this on to them!)

Every week on this podcast I'll be speaking with thought leaders in our field, and drawing from years of experience as a clinical supervisor and leader Growing Self — a mission driven, growth oriented private practice that supports and cares for 50+ therapists. We'll be fearlessly tackling the unique challenges we face, while focusing on personal and professional growth, our own mental and emotional wellbeing, and staying true to our highest purpose.

Join me in exploring how we, as therapists, can learn, grow, and evolve, in order to be the most trustworthy and effective supporters of our clients. We'll be discussing best practices and pro tips, plus ways to care for ourselves while continuing to help others.

Discover more and listen to episodes at GrowingSelf.com/therapists, Apple Podcast, Spotify,  or YouTube. Connect with me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram  for additional support tailored just for you, my therapist friends.

My hope is that this podcast becomes our space to rejuvenate and enhance our ability to care for others. Tune in to Love, Happiness, and Success for Therapists and let's make a difference together.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: You can learn more about the show here, and this is the link to pass on to anyone you think could benefit from tuning into Love, Happiness, and Success For Therapists! GrowingSelf.com/therapists

Chemistry in relationships: it’s that spark, that zing that draws you to someone and makes you crave their touch. When it’s missing, we worry that something’s wrong. (And sometimes, it is). But did you know that intense chemistry can also sometimes be a relationship red flag? And that healthy, strong relationships may not always have as much sizzle?

AND it’s also possible to cultivate the chemistry you crave. Ready for more? On today’s episode, you’ll learn: 

• What chemistry really is (and what it isn’t)

• How to avoid the relationship problems chemistry can create

• How to cultivate chemistry in your relationships

• And more!

Understanding chemistry and learning how to work with it can transform your relationships, and that’s why I’m so excited to share this with you. Join me, and get a fresh perspective that will open your eyes, and change the way you feel about your relationships (for the better!)

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — Ready to transform your relationships? Get in touch: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

So, you've got a bad boss. If you're lucky, this will be your last... but unfortunately, toxic leadership is not unheard of. Knowing the signs of a toxic boss can help you protect yourself, manage yoru expectations, and move on to a better situation when the time is right. 

A toxic boss can stimy your ability to do your best work, which will not only hold back the company, it can damage your career. They can foster work environments where people feel drained, resentful, or constantly at odds with their coworkers. And when it comes to your emotional wellbeing, working for a crappy boss can really take its toll. 

But help is here! Today on the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast, we're talking about how to navigate a toxic boss and even use this difficult experience to propel your career forward. 

You'll learn: 

• The signs of a toxic boss.
• How toxic leadership impacts you, your relationships with coworkers, and your ability to be successful in your career.  
• How to deal with a bad boss. 
• Growth opportunities that only come from working for a toxic manager. 

All of that and more on today's show. I hope you'll join me!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — I have a collection of articles and podcasts designed to help you thrive in your career. Check it out — I made it for you!

When you're hurt or angry with your partner, it's like the love in your heart is dimmed. You can't be open with your feelings when you're nursing emotional wounds. And it's hard to receive love until you're able to forgive your partner.

But, emotional pain is always a component of long-term relationships. Part of giving your heart to someone is opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. This can happen in big ways — like infidelity, rejection, or abandonment.

But it can also happen in small ways, like moments that left you feeling uncared for, unappreciated, or unloved. We all experience moments like these, and if we don't know how to process them, forgive, and move forward, they can damage the love we have for our partners. 

So how can you forgive your partner? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the podcast. You'll learn about how forgiveness works, what's holding you back from finding forgiveness, and how to not only "let it go," but how to use the repair process to build a deeper, more meaningful connection. 

I hope you'll join me!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you are struggling to forgive your partner, that's a sign that you could really benefit from working with a good couples counselor. Schedule a free consultation with an expert on my team at Growing Self: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Do you wish you were "good with people?" Many of us do! But we're not often taught the one skill that will not only help you connect with others, but also make you happier and more successful in every single area of your life: emotional intelligence, the key to love, happiness, and success. 

Raising your emotional intelligence has all kinds of benefits, including increased: 

• Contentment
• Motivation
• Adaptibility
• Resilience
• Empathy for others
• Self-Awareness

And, it will make every relationship in your life stronger. Truly, emotional intelligence is the secret sauce that makes you "good with people" — and so much more. 

So, how can you increase your emotional intelligence? That's what we're talking about on today's episode!

You'll learn all about emotional intelligence: what it is, how it helps you create the life you want, and the practical strategies that help you raise your emotional intelligence, no matter where you're starting from. 

I hope you'll join me. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — I have therapists on my team who specialize in emotional intelligence coaching specifically. Start with a free consultation today: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Do you have a tough internal critic? When you are always talking to yourself in a negative, unkind way, it impacts how you feel about yourself, how you show up in your relationships with others, and how much resilience you have to achieve your goals. 

Learning how to recognize your inner critic and talk back to it moves you forward. That's what we're talking about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. You'll learn: 

• What the inner critic sounds like
• Where the inner critic comes from 
• How self-criticism impacts your confidence and self-esteem
• How to silence your inner critic
• How to develop an "inner champion" who encourages and supports you. 
• And more!

I hope this episode helps you silence your inner critic and amplify your inner champion. Because you deserve a loving, supportive relationship with YOU!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — Ready to conquer negative self-talk once and for all? Let's talk: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Are your insecurities holding you back? 

We all have things that we feel insecure about, but many people feel trapped by shame and self doubt, or like they're never quite good enough. And this can create major problems. Unchecked insecurity can keep you from taking risks, achieving your potential, getting close to others, and enjoying your life. 

A little insecurity can be healthy, leading to humility and an openness to the perspectives of others. True security doesn’t come from being perfect, it comes from accepting your imperfections and loving yourself regardless. 

So how can you stop being insecure, and start building self-esteem and confidence? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. 

I hope you'll join me!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — The best way to address insecurity is by working with a good therapist or coach. Schedule your free consultation at Growing Self today.

Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells around your partner? When you feel like you have to be extremely careful about what you say, otherwise your partner will blow up, get defensive, or feel hurt, something has to change. So what's your path forward? That's what we're talking about on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. 

You'll learn: 

• What causes us to walk on eggshells in a relationship
• Why this dynamic is bad for you, your partner, and your connection
• How to communicate in a way that minimizes defensiveness
• When it's time to get help for your relationship. 

I hope this episode helps you reflect on why you're feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, and some strategies for building a relationship where you can be open and authentic — because that is what you deserve. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — This is a pattern that's best tackled with help from a relationship expert. Schedule your free consulation with a Growing Self couples counselor. 

Ah, your 20s... a decade full of so much promise, potential, and radical growth. And yet, as a therapist and a life coach, I know that your 20s can also be uniquely difficult, especially when you expect that they're "supposed to be" the best years of your life! 

Young adults have always been challenged to explore their identities, learn about the complexities of romantic relationships, and start establishing themselves professionally. But in 2024, they're also grappling with student debt, outrageous housing costs, the mental health minefield of social media, and the weirdness of online dating. It's a lot! 

To help you unpack it all, I sat down with Jemma Sbeg, host of the fantastic podcast, "The Psychology of Your 20s." Jemma is offering up her perspective and tips for making the most of this weird and wonderful time of life. I hope you'll tune in, and that you'll find our conversation enlightening and helpful. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you want a personal growth expert to walk alongside you, whether you're in your 20s or not, schedule a free consultation. 

As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw. 

The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic.

Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift.

On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe. 

I hope you'll join me! 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team. 

Breakups are always hard. But when you're completely blindsided by a breakup, moving forward can be especially tough. 

It's normal to ruminate non-stop about what happened and the signs that you missed. And your ex likely didn't stick around long enough to give you answers either — if they avoided important conversations during your relationship, chances are they're really avoiding them now. 

So how can you make sense of this uniquely painful experience, heal your heart, and eventually, feel safe opening yourself up to love again? That's what we're talking about on this episode of the podcast. 

You'll learn about: 

• Why blindsided breakups happen. 
• Why they're so difficult to process. 
• The path to growth and healing. 

I hope you'll join me!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you want support from a true breakup recovery expert, schedule a free meeting with a clinician on my team. 

🌟 Feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of life? You're not alone. Today, we're delving into the art of simplifying your life... by getting clear about your mission and purpose

Here's the truth: Simplifying isn't just about decluttering your space. It's about aligning your daily life with your core values, leading to a more fulfilling and less frazzled existence. How? That's what you'll learn in this episode!

🔹 Special Guest: Today, I'm thrilled to have Bonnie Wan, author of “The Life Brief: A Playbook for No Regrets Living,” sharing her insights with you, on how to create a life of clarity and purpose. 

🔸 Key Discussions:

• Clarifying Your Values: You'll discover how to identify and focus on what truly matters to you.
• Time Management Strategies: You'll learn how to make strategic choices with your time, aligning your daily activities with your core values.
• Organizing Your Space: You'll understand the impact of your physical environment on your mental well-being and how to organize it for clarity and focus.
• Evaluating Relationships: You'll gain insights into how to nurture relationships that contribute to your happiness and well-being.

🌈 Takeaway: This episode offers practical advice and deep reflections on how to streamline your life, not just in terms of tasks and belongings, but in a way that resonates with your deepest values.

💡 Explore More: Don't miss my “Moving Forward Fearlessly” collection of articles and podcasts for more advice on living with intention.

Happy New Year!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

#SimplifyYourLife #PersonalGrowth #Podcast #LifeCoaching #DesignYourLife #DrLisaMarieBobby #LoveHappinessSuccess

Are you navigating the single scene or maybe feeling a bit disheartened by relationships that just don't seem to click? You're not alone. Often, the biggest hurdle in our quest for love is the sneaky, self-limiting beliefs that quietly hold us back. These relationship myths are like invisible scripts dictating our love lives, and we've all got them.

In today's episode, we're going to uncover these hidden culprits! You'll learn how to spot them and, more importantly, how to stop them from meddling in your journey to love. To make this conversation even more exciting (and meaningful) we'll have the amazing Damona Hoffman with us. She's a true expert in the world of dating and relationships, and she's here to share her insights on why it's time to ditch those fairy-tale expectations and focus on what really matters for creating a lasting, satisfying relationship.

If one of your main life goals is to build a healthy relationship, this will be a game-changer for your love life. So tune in, get cozy, and let's dive deep into transforming your approach to love. You deserve a relationship as incredible as you are, and we're here to help you create it. Let's do this! 🌟💕

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

PS: On the show we discussed a bunch of resources. Here's a link to a whole collection of free dating advice including a curated podcast playlist that I made for you. With love! xo

When relationships are in distress, things change. Conflict is more hurtful and less productive. Couples stop seeing each other's points of view, and stop trusting each other's good intentions. But as an experience couples counselor, I know that the biggest obstacle to healing these relationships is something else — the negative narratives that distressed couples start to believe about each other, without realizing that they're both reacting to the dynamic itself, rather than something essential about their partner. 

Understanding what a distressed relationship looks and feels like is important. It can help you get help for your relationship when you need it, and it can help you see past these negative narratives, understand where they're coming from, and bridge the divide. 

This podcast episode will show you the way! You'll learn why relationships enter the distress cycle, what it looks like, and what you can do if you and your partner are struggling. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

Ready to meet with a relationship expert? Schedule your free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/