As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw. 

The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic.

Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift.

On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe. 

I hope you'll join me! 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team. 

Breakups are always hard. But when you're completely blindsided by a breakup, moving forward can be especially tough. 

It's normal to ruminate non-stop about what happened and the signs that you missed. And your ex likely didn't stick around long enough to give you answers either — if they avoided important conversations during your relationship, chances are they're really avoiding them now. 

So how can you make sense of this uniquely painful experience, heal your heart, and eventually, feel safe opening yourself up to love again? That's what we're talking about on this episode of the podcast. 

You'll learn about: 

• Why blindsided breakups happen. 
• Why they're so difficult to process. 
• The path to growth and healing. 

I hope you'll join me!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you want support from a true breakup recovery expert, schedule a free meeting with a clinician on my team. 

🌟 Feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of life? You're not alone. Today, we're delving into the art of simplifying your life... by getting clear about your mission and purpose

Here's the truth: Simplifying isn't just about decluttering your space. It's about aligning your daily life with your core values, leading to a more fulfilling and less frazzled existence. How? That's what you'll learn in this episode!

🔹 Special Guest: Today, I'm thrilled to have Bonnie Wan, author of “The Life Brief: A Playbook for No Regrets Living,” sharing her insights with you, on how to create a life of clarity and purpose. 

🔸 Key Discussions:

• Clarifying Your Values: You'll discover how to identify and focus on what truly matters to you.
• Time Management Strategies: You'll learn how to make strategic choices with your time, aligning your daily activities with your core values.
• Organizing Your Space: You'll understand the impact of your physical environment on your mental well-being and how to organize it for clarity and focus.
• Evaluating Relationships: You'll gain insights into how to nurture relationships that contribute to your happiness and well-being.

🌈 Takeaway: This episode offers practical advice and deep reflections on how to streamline your life, not just in terms of tasks and belongings, but in a way that resonates with your deepest values.

💡 Explore More: Don't miss my “Moving Forward Fearlessly” collection of articles and podcasts for more advice on living with intention.

Happy New Year!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

#SimplifyYourLife #PersonalGrowth #Podcast #LifeCoaching #DesignYourLife #DrLisaMarieBobby #LoveHappinessSuccess

Are you navigating the single scene or maybe feeling a bit disheartened by relationships that just don't seem to click? You're not alone. Often, the biggest hurdle in our quest for love is the sneaky, self-limiting beliefs that quietly hold us back. These relationship myths are like invisible scripts dictating our love lives, and we've all got them.

In today's episode, we're going to uncover these hidden culprits! You'll learn how to spot them and, more importantly, how to stop them from meddling in your journey to love. To make this conversation even more exciting (and meaningful) we'll have the amazing Damona Hoffman with us. She's a true expert in the world of dating and relationships, and she's here to share her insights on why it's time to ditch those fairy-tale expectations and focus on what really matters for creating a lasting, satisfying relationship.

If one of your main life goals is to build a healthy relationship, this will be a game-changer for your love life. So tune in, get cozy, and let's dive deep into transforming your approach to love. You deserve a relationship as incredible as you are, and we're here to help you create it. Let's do this! 🌟💕

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

PS: On the show we discussed a bunch of resources. Here's a link to a whole collection of free dating advice including a curated podcast playlist that I made for you. With love! xo

When relationships are in distress, things change. Conflict is more hurtful and less productive. Couples stop seeing each other's points of view, and stop trusting each other's good intentions. But as an experience couples counselor, I know that the biggest obstacle to healing these relationships is something else — the negative narratives that distressed couples start to believe about each other, without realizing that they're both reacting to the dynamic itself, rather than something essential about their partner. 

Understanding what a distressed relationship looks and feels like is important. It can help you get help for your relationship when you need it, and it can help you see past these negative narratives, understand where they're coming from, and bridge the divide. 

This podcast episode will show you the way! You'll learn why relationships enter the distress cycle, what it looks like, and what you can do if you and your partner are struggling. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

Ready to meet with a relationship expert? Schedule your free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/